pam->luv<-weiting

2006-04-16T17:05:00.000+08:00

reading wads the past..yet not reliving it..lets not make wrong decisions anymore...
let this time be forever...

2006-04-06T19:04:00.000+08:00

I need you more than I thought would.

I love you more than I thought I do.

It was my mistake. My fault.

I finally understood the phrase, don live wif some1 you can live wif.

Live wif some1 you can't live without.

2005-09-12T20:47:00.000+08:00

Ya... so this is it.. 12 sep... 1 last day... Thanks.. for the present.. for the song u wrote for me... so touching... that my tears flow infront of u... of all the 8 months plus we're together... the happy moments brought me tears... & the arguements... made me smile... Maybe... ze bu shi tong hua gu shi gai you de jie ju ... dan.. ta shi ge mei li de gu shi... I have seen u tried ur very best not to make me upset... Try ur best to put that smile on my face... & to make sure, this was a happy ending for me... Thank you so much... wo men chang shou... bu su yu tong ge shi jie de ren... bu ying gai zai yi qi... ke shi... wo ren wei... is the problem of timing... Ppl bet... how long will we last? how fast will we patch back.. wo bu si guan shen bian shao le nii... but... I don want history to repeat itself.. so if we'll patch, I guess it's at least 3 yrs down the road.. when u have ur freedom... wo bu si guan, dan wo hui xue... nii ne? wo shou guo, cheng jing yong you jiu guo le... tian chang ti jiu, you ru he? shou yi, dear... Nii ying ding ding yao kuai le... nii shou guo... wei le wo, yao bei ban shi jie, nii duo yuan yi... zi yao wo kuai le.. shou yi, wei le wo, kuai le... hao ma? fa zhi xing li de kuai le... There it is.. wo men de tong hua... From 3rd jan to 12th sep... mei li de hui yi... rang wo men yong yuan yong yuan fang zai xing li... 8 yrs later.. no1 can predict... & so... let's leave it... we'll see.. wouldn't we? & we'll keep this blog... as bro & sis... hmm? I love you... today as ur dear... & tomorrow onwards, as ur sis, ur best friend... muackz... yao yong gan... yao kuai le... Yi qi fei... hao ma?

might this be the final

2005-09-12T20:14:00.000+08:00

this may be the last time ill post here...or i may continue if you too...haha...we got each other the same thing...i knew it actually...if you have to do it every day...there is not much else right?you wrote much more than me...mine was shorter...i like it very much...and ill treasure it...took me some time to think where to keep it...haha...decided to keep it in computer games box...up high on the shelf...cant be seen...dun tink she will go find out...or ill think of a better place to keep it safe from others ba...haha...yes...today is the 12 of sept...people dun have to remind me...hah...i know it will be the day we break...is it so amzing or exciting?cus it isint to me...or to you i know...but nvm...i guess i can jus shrug it away...will you still feel anything for me after we break?will you love me not as your friend or your bro..but as someone you wana be with for your life?if you dun its ok...i will...i will still love you...dun have to feel guilty or wad...i know your heart is in bit and pieces...some might never belong to me...find it back all together someday ba...wo zhen de yao zou le...dan qi shi hai zai ni shen bian...although these days are very painful...you were beside me to comfort me and wipe my tears away...thk you...it has been an unforgettable 8 months with you...that you have gave me love and care...wo hui xiang nian ni de wen rou...ni de tian mi...wo xu yao ni tie jing wo...yao ni aii wo...dan wu suo wei le ba...ni bu neng de hua...wo xiang wo zhi hao xue...heres a happy ending...for you dear...
wo aii ni.jie shu le.
fei ba.kuai le ba.
zai xing zhong zao xun ni dui wo de aii.xaing zhe ni de yong bao.

2005-09-09T20:56:00.000+08:00

i believe...i know you still love me...that tiny bit...i duno if i should be happy...or sad...i cant stop dropping tears when i held your hand that way...yes i clearly understand wad does it mean...it means that we will break...in my mind i thought...wad else can i do??i can only try wadever there is...so i tried...you cried...me too...we jus held each other and dry one anothers tears...i duno how to control...they jus kept falling and falling...im not a guy...haha...i shivered in pain...i jus wana look at you...hold you...its...unbearable pain...3 days...this time its real...and i duno how to make myself any better...you have been coaxing me now for say days...wad you said...i believe...i know this is you...and you are better this way...am i the one for your life...i duno...its jus a dream i have...the one i have the strongest desire to fulfill...wo aii ni aii de tai shen...zhe shi ni de shen huo...ni nie jiu wei he...ge ren you ge ren de shen huo...wo wu fa rang ni de shen huo jing cai...kuai le...ye zhi hao li kai...maybe someone might give you the everlasting love...i jus someone who had to learn wads love from you...maybe you tink its not true love...maybe you do...all i feel cannot be jus expressed by words...i can write on forever...i can give you sugar all you wan...but i mean wad i write...thats important...zhe ci zhen de...yao fen shou le...bu zai shi jia de...literally...its a pain that tears me from the inside....maybe you feel the same too...but no matter how pain it is...i have to take it...cus there is no looking back...
my life may be lonely from then on...
but im willing to trade it for you to have a happier and exciting life onwards...
qian jing ba....dear...

2005-09-09T20:20:00.000+08:00

Juz came back from the hotel today.. was so bloody tired... Reached home shower le then immediately slp liao.. hehe... so shiok... but my mummy come wake me up -.-"... so ya... 3 more days... I'm lost for words now... earlier in the week... we had so called a talk... You believe me right? If I wanna lie to you I wouldn't tell you all that... It's juz.. some feelings... But they are feelings... I'm so tired.. a breakaway... Last night... You interlock my hand wif yours... To us.. interlocking nv meant to be forever... You know the reason behind it... so we nv ever interlock when holding hands... But last night wen u did... u made my tears flow... no dear.. it's not these little things that cause us to break... If it is.. we can easily change it.. but it's not... The difference in us... makes or breaks us... maybe it's the problem of timing... It breaks us now... I want a life full of excitement... full of adventures, fun, freedom... But you want a much more stable & peaceful life... It's hard huh? You asked me how I felt about breaking up... Of coz.. 8 months... all the good times.. all the 1st times.. all the arguements... when I think back... tears come.. The doggy u give me for 5th month? It'll stay wif me.. for as long as possible... so long as it's not torn... I'll keep it.. I've gotten so use to having it beside me everynight... I know... comforting words are juz words.. no matter how much I say... It's up to you... It's ur life.. It's how u run it... so... don think of how your life will be without me... Becoz it's a beginning of another new chapter... ya?

Dang gu shi jie su zi huo, xing ye xi huan yi ge ren ji mo...

nii xiang xing wo aii nii ye hao... Bu xiang xing ye hao... aii, shi shao le... dan chun zai...

Muacks...

2005-09-03T21:48:00.000+08:00

Hihi dear... yupz... happy 8th months... This is the last anniversary we'll spend together... 9 more days.. That's all... Thx for being wif me today... & thx for the past 8 months... This is enough for me.. really... I'm not that greedy to wanna cage you like ur mum... I want u to fly... don leave ur wings behind wif me... The Earth still moves... everything's gonna be the same... I believe there's no1 in this world u can't live without... You asked me... That... Previously... Did I love or liked him... Wad's the answer I don even know... wad is love? I always ask... but no1 knows... It's a sudden chemistry... It comes.. & it goes.. I came in ur life to teach & learn from you... I taught u wad u've nv been through before... & I know... I taught u how to endure pain... sry... I learnt that love isn't a game... at least to some ppl... I have always thought, love was a game... wif many players... But u taught me... That love does exist... Not juz motherly love, not juz brotherhood love... But ya.. some1 who use to be a stranger to me... can love me... wif all his heart... & I know... It's my fault I donno how to treasure... Maybe someday, when u're holding some1 else's hand... I might regret my decision of letting you go... But... I believe wadever I've decided... I should do it & don look back... coz like you say... I've always followed my heart... I did in the past, I'm going to do it now, & I will too in the future... I don wanna think about how will it be in the future... I don even wanna talk about it.. I juz wanna... let it be... why should life be so complicated I ask... Now I know... a plain & simple life, is boring & not at all interesting... complication are juz adding some spice into our lives... wadever is going to happen... don worry... believe me... everything happens for a reason... k? now smile ;)

Love love, thx for everything & everything...

muacks.. always look on th bright side of life? :)

2005-09-03T21:35:00.000+08:00

since the 12 of july...we have not been posting much...due to school ba...quite busy...or maybe feelings...for school...ya...we got back our results...im really happy to see you improve...its 1 of your best since the first day iv met you...not insulting you la...but you dint do so well in the past...glad to see for once...you have gotten marks that you work hard for...me too...im quite glad with mine...good improvement since the day we started...33th to 22nd...haha...not bad la hor...oh well...when i saw this...actually...i dun wan this to be the case in o' levels...i duno if im hoping for something impossible...but i wana see you throughout 8 years if it takes that long...i wana be there watching over you...but i know its quite impossible...huh...its alright...anyway i have to do better than this anyway...the expectations of my cage master is higher...i have to work hard always...you too k dear...i wont be the one to ask you to work hard anymore...but you have to know yourself...today shall be our 8th month anni...and the last anniversary ill have with you...went out with you today...fairly glad to be with you on a sat...i know i always cant...hows today?ok la hmm...hhaha...i dun wana tink much...i dun wana get emmotional...only at night i let myself be...hotel comin...hope it will be nice...a sweet memory for me to look back...and also you...you are all my firsts...i hope you to be my last...
wo xiang aii ni yi bei zi...
xiang yao ni aii wo yi bei zi....
dan yi qie dou shi yuan fen...

2005-08-28T15:23:00.000+08:00

hey dear...you sound all bored now...like no life lidat...still keep saying no....haha...ya yesterday i was busy...whole day...morning went to nic's house to cut hair...later you say i kuku...i tink it sucks...haha...make me look like i no hair...nvm...mine grow back super fast de...after that around noon le...went home not for long have to go to cousin house le...then go for dinner to celebrate ah ma's bday...its buffet...and i ate damn alot...haha...its like...eat...stop...eat...stop...lidat can keep going on lo...tink i finished duno how much food...it was nice la...and i need to be fatter anyway...right?haha...since so long ago you said i need to be fatter to look nicer...anyway...after that damn long dinner...went to cousin house to blow bday cake...ah ma should be very happy...all her children are quite successful...and all treat her so well...77 years old le...i wonder if i can live that long...best is with you...wo xiang kan zhe ni...he ni huo dao lao...zhi dao wo jian dao ni de zhou wen...you mus be tinking i duno you post...haha...i know de la...i can sense...last last night fun huh?haha...you sound that way huh....all boys will faint...so ****...haha...cheer up...dint had much fun ysterday hmm?hope monday will be a day full of fun...hahaha...??wad am i saying?hahaha...hao le ba..dear...wo ye mei shem mo dan xing...wo zhe pa ni hui shang xing...this time is for real...and its abit unreal to me...but nvm...mucks...wo hai hui aii zhe ni

2005-08-27T22:11:00.000+08:00

Hao la hao la... I'm so bored! So I'll post... you ah... Don care u later... I slp 1st! hrump.. I'm guai today u know? I didn't buy anything lor... coz like I got everything liao... sl they all ask wad I want for my birthday... But cannot say clothes, skirts, bags, shoes... coz I got too many of those... But I want bag! they don wanna buy... hrump... Then wad? I got everything liao ma.. so bad de leh they all... I'm also not craving for mp3... Stupid elaine say birthday cake... hahax.. But I also got liao! aiya... hao la.. enough of talking to myself... so ya.. didn't spend much time wif ya today... even if I wanna spend time wif u, You also don have time for me.. ya.. so.. er.. hahax... yesterday's stuff... Juz forget about it la.. stupid... hahax... Last night was fun man! hahax... I can imagine... hahax... sian.. so I've been working on my "something" everyday... are you? hahax... wad is urs huh? so secretive de... cannot even tell me u got do or nv do... hmm... hao la hao la.. since u say surprise then I'll stop asking le la... don worry about me la ok? all these problems.. i can handle la.. no big deal.. ru gou yan lei bu xiao xing hua gou zhui jiao, jiu yong nii wo gou de shou mo diao... shou yi, bie dan xing... Life can't that perfect for every1... hafta face some ups and downs... hao la.. I've nothing more to write...

wo hao xiang nii.. nii zhe ge huai ren... hehe... muacks.. love ya dar...

2005-08-20T17:37:00.000+08:00

hey hey dear...busy day for you huh...haha...you can finally change your phone...haah...happy ma?then e640...duno good or not...but small la...since you now not home then i write lo...so long never write le...every weekday so busy...test...choir...sometimes can go out and spend time with you...your parents...duno worry ba...i know you dun...but i do actually...how are you gona handle home and studies in the future...hope its does not really happen ba...oh well...im not used to suddenly go to choir again...so sian...haha...every time i go i jus slump there...wana sleep...or tok tok...haha..i guess it will fall ba...most probably...haha...year by year weaken...from damn entu to no entu...hmm...next week so many test...1 lesser for you...humanes...ee...lidat de...haah...k la...you lesser stress mus do well k?you can de...suddenly realise very fast ca2 ending le...after next week test wont have much more le ba...i still worrying whether i can go to hotel...jus wish can...i know you well?haha...habits...lidat la...simple things but they touch you...im happy that i do...i duno...when i do things its jus automatically come to my mind i mus take 2...or more...lidat lo...haha...ru guo ni jue de hai pa li kai wo jiu hui shi qu zhe yi qie....bie dan xing...wo hai shi hui aii ni de...hai hui gei ni aii

2005-08-19T21:41:00.000+08:00

Hey hey dear... Decided to write now since I realise I haven been posting... hehe... Anyway.. Idiot u leh.. Keep going here and there.. do this do that.. very busy hor? alright... so ya... wenta west mall today to at handphones... I think I'll most probably take samsung le... coz nokia phone all not nice de now... nice ones no bluetooth... hahax.. so ma fan hor? hehe... I hope we're giving each other the same thing.. coz the 1 I'm giving, I really spend time on it... hmm... wad else? next week planty of test... 5 for you... 4 for me... sianzation... but well... Jia you kz? muacks... u know? small small things you do, I rmb them and is somehow or rather touched.. I juz can't help thinking how well you know me inside out... wait... before u think dirty.. hahax... small things like I always need 2 straws to drink... That I always need extra chili... & that I always wanna drink water now and then.. hahax... how huh? next time if I don have u by my side? you know? I want that hand thingy to be true too... that yours is juz 1 line... It's weird la... that some1 knows me so so well... I guess Sl knows me real well le.. But habit wise.. you're more familiar... maybe ba... like I say... 2 person of different character can click better... Coz you can always give in to me.. & ur temper is so so gd... I've seen u flare at twice... not at me though... if at me then die.. hehe... when u're angry I don dare to open my mouth... hahax... tomorrow's weekend.. I pray there's no aruguements...

You de ren shuo bu qing na li hao, dan jiu shi shui dou ti dai bu liao...

wo aii nii... muacks...

12-july-2005

2005-08-12T20:15:00.000+08:00

hey dear...ya asked me to post so i post ba...haha...a surprise?i know ill like it...wadever it is...but seriously i dun wana dissapoint you...in any case ill keep it as safe as possible...ill treasure it...its will mean alot to me...something to hold on to...something to remind me that i may still find you back in the future...well...can this day be said as special to me?1 more month and thats all...how else is there to prevent it from happening...i dun wish to tink...or there is none...you may be happier this way ba...i duno...duno bout wad am i feeling...wanting to hold you still...and stuff...though i should not...person of your dreams?i cant say i dont wish its me...its jus...this confusion still though...hope it wears off soon...i tink it back on me again...the feeling from the past...i hate it...i hope ill be fine and not like before...its not your fault...no it isint...i jus tink...it will be back.for how long i dun know...today went yy house watch dvd...haha..hai hao la...the movie was nothing nice...more of laughing at them fooling around...loud huh?haha...oh well...as long as i had some time with you...im glad...i am...things will be clear soon...day by day...it gets nearer..friends seem to be joking with it...haha...nvm..that akwardness is something to be like in the future if they mention this relationship in front of us ba...
ill miss so many things....
i jus hope the love will rekindle..
once i can...

2005-08-08T20:06:00.000+08:00

Hao la.. since u're doing ur maths.. I might as well post now... hmm... wenta suntec for movies today... I mistook the time as 11.50am lor... silly me... Then in the end cannot watch the maid... But lucky didn't watch... If not I'll be scared to death now... Since I'm always alone at home at night... hahax... u very silly leh... I insisted on watching The maid... Then u scared I'll be scared at night... Then bluff me.. hahax... say u don dare watch... idiot... Ya la... It's for my own gd right? hahax... ya.. so watched seven sword... ehh.. lolx... typical guys... Like this kinda fighting show... u should have seen ur own expression... so engross in the show man... hahax... The sofa seat was nice right? That's worth the trip... hahax... ya... so nii pei wo shop shop after that... gd training I guess... hahax... look so sian lor... Thought ur legs tired... well... Thx dear... for spending the day wif me... Tomorrow no time le ba... busy day for you... well... I'll find something to do de... don worry about me... I promise I wouldn't be ok? Then wed again no time... I'm going out wif the gals... Been a long time since the 6 of us go out together le... so ya... I seriously don mind all those u mention even after we break... afterall I'm single... Not betraying any1 ma... hahax... why do u worry about me being attached? How can any1 stand my character? hahax... oh well... Like I say... It's all about giving in & accepting... If there's love... Nothing matters... Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder... right?

There's a place for you in my heart... Always...

bao bao... Muacks... Love ya...

2005-08-07T13:53:00.000+08:00

hey darling...mus be on your way back ba...im missing you...very much...where are you?ya of course i know...genting...oh well...soon you will be back...i jus wana write a post lo...eh...nothing much la...you wanted me to stay with you overnight at ya house...but i cant...so...ya...you had to choose to go overseas with ya parents...dun blame yourself...silly dear...its alright...each of us have our own fears right?and of course is nothing wrong for a gal to wan accompany and secure...had been tinking for some time...using my sis as example...they got their freedom somewhere at 17-18 years old ba...by then thats j1 or j2...i would be more than gald if i had my freeedom till then...i wish i can...or anytime earlier...not because i need it...but you do...nah...if you meet some guy nice?haha...dun go waiting till i get my freedom one day...although im saying words that my heart dun agree...its up to you to tink wad would be of happiness for you hmm?yesterdays saturday...nothing much...i had no mood to do hw...so i jus lagg around doing nothin...ma ask me go out...so i went cousin house earlier...well at least i have something to play...so till night then come home la...wondering where are you now....are you sneezing?packing up?or in the car?oh well...soon...tml see wad you wana do ba...muacks..from far away....
i love you dear...
maybe one day i can show you wad these 3 words mean....
but dun go waiting for too long...

2005-08-05T20:53:00.000+08:00

here's a late one...wanted to post yesterday...but something happened...that i wished to speak to you more about than writing to you...yea...this is the third time i say happy 7 month anniversary...so not exactly late...haha...to most...its been a hell long amount of time for us to last...to me...i wonder forever was enough...but i have to learn...that things arent meant to be forever...especially love...it gets washed away...by faults...by mistakes....that i make...and it comes again and again...jus recently another...i dun wish to mention much bout it...duno whether if we have solved our problems...i guess not...jus like now....i cant spend 1 night with you...to keep you company...to give you secure...i wan to say sry so much...yet i remember wad you said...and i know things may jus happen within this 1 months more...you have to go genting ba...well...you will be more calm at heart wont you?haha...you will be find...angels and gods will watch over you...dun be afraid...when you are...dun tink bout them...find joy at your heart...look for the sweetest moments...i know these words wont reach you now...ill tell them later...haha...sunday you will be back...till then i shall be missing you this weekend ba...hope you miss me too...hehe...selfish huh...no matter how hard things may be...theres always one day that will be better...thats y...i hope...the future...my future...will be full of you everyday...every minute...k?thats my only dream in my life....aimless idiot me....
i love you dear...
hope you are fine now...

2005-08-02T21:26:00.000+08:00

Actually wanted to write tomorrow de... But suddenly realised might be very busy tomorrow... so happy 7 months anni in advance... This might be the last 2 anni we'll be spending together i guess... But so unlucky.. Both sick... sianzation... Thurs u have 2 tests & I have history... Muz pei lor... structured... But I'm better at this... I donno whether I should be gald... That u finally straighten ur thoughts... It's been a hard time for u too I guess.. coping wif both sides... I've said... so long as 1 day u're realised... even before 2013.. as long as I'm single.. I'll be gald to urs again... Juz for u... But thats when you can have control over ur life.. hmm? I wouldn't look back dear... I'll move on wif wad I've decided... You told me to... & I realised... perhaps this is really better for both of us... My birthday's coming! yet I donno whether I'm looking forward to it anot... By then... You wouldn't be mine... well, u owe me a gift and a hug on that day... don hold too tight... I'm afraid by then I wouldn't bare to leave... You say you'll always be watching over me... yes... I'm greedy... I want u to watch over me... & I'm so selfish... I'm so afraid to think of that day... when you'll be watching over some1 else instead... nii shou... ru guo wo hui shou shang hai, nii dong de li kai... you said u love me, but u fail to love me... maybe thats the case now.. But I know... In 8 yrs time.. that wouldn't be the case... I love you too... Rest well dear... don go to sch tomorrow if u're still feeling unwell...

Muacks... love love...

2005-08-01T20:05:00.000+08:00

back from dinner le...wanted to write long ago...but dint have much time...last week was quite busy...most weekdays need to prepare for carnival...and sat there was carnival...was tiring...wanted to spend time with you...but as always...i failed to...i had to go cousins house...these things...i have not much choices in my life...and im sorry...really i am...that i caused you so much pain...you said sorry means never to do it again...and i shall never do it again...till the day i can give you wat you need...wat you should get from a bf...i have never exactly give you much happiness...short ones yes...there are...like today?haha...its little things...i have never exactly gave you lasting happiness in love...have i?and i duno wad to do...i definitely tried...i know i did...but its never enough to allow me to break away from this cage to reach you...ill trapped you a world without freedom...and yet i pulled you in that day...that day was the time i made the wrong choice...maybe right...cus i learnt wad is love...you taught me...but wrong...cus i cant bring you the happiness you wished for...you yearned for...the future is the only choice i can look towards...i duno wad to tink...wad to say...cus its all jubbled up...actually...i really thk you...for preparing me if the day comes when we have to break...cus now...the pain im feeling...it hurts less...tears will always flow...yes...but i hope in the future i can end them..as soon as possible...i was never like you said...i was never too good for you...in fact...im not good enough to be anyones bf...well...this is the last few days...and till the 8th monthsary...dun look back...i guess that is the correct choice...i love you enough to release you from these pain...
fly...fly high where you might find wad you missed...
dun look back...dun worry...one day i may be able to fly too...
now...you are jus like a bird...perching by my cage...
but its painful for you to wait on...so go now...
till the day...may fate bring us back together again...
I love you so much...that this damage is deep...one day...i hope you will be the one to heal me...and i will heal you too

2005-07-30T20:17:00.000+08:00

oh gosh I'm so tired... & sick... Juz wanna slp at this moment... but since I'm online already and realised we haven been posting for quite a long period of time.. I decided to be nice.. hahax... 3 more days to 7 months anni... so fast sia... everyday seem to fly... It's been a busy week & it's gonna be a busy week again next week... sianzation... (yawning) I enjoy the short moments today... Juz silently holding ur hand while walking home, listening to mp3 & singing... It's nice... to have a bit of peace after a noisy and tiring day... wanted to have dinner wif ya... But dad bought ur share.. so no choice la... I'm so tired!!! help me massage leh.. xD... & help me take my medicine la... hahax... I know u will if u are here... *wishing* hahax.. wishes don come true... watcha doing now?! reach home until now still haven sms me... too tired too? hahax... Dinner's here! but I'm not hungry leh... But after that I'll go orh orh slp liao... bed! (drooling) I know this is short la.. But I force my eyes open to write this de ok? so appreciate man! hahax...

I love you...

My legs are tired! *hint hint*

hahax... Muackz! ;D

2005-07-24T13:52:00.000+08:00

very long never blog huh?yea lo...so busy...tests every week...but i still like CA...less stress...exams always scary de...you do badly then die le...ca at least give some chances...errr...this week...oh well...tests and things...dint have much time to spend with one another...but errr...hahaha...kk of course...wo ye hui hai xiu...ahah...thurs was quite fun for me...went for maths trail...fool around with the guys lo...but fun...hahaha...people have to come find me while i hide...trying to find a place to eat...haha...so bo liao...i still had time to do my hw in the shopping center...people were like looking at me...so weird...eating burger king outside best denki...putting a sign 'station 8'...haha...oh well...jus fun...had been some time since i fool around with them...friday was some time to be back with them being bros...but quite boring la...need to take turns to play pool...and nic and keith argued...nic was quite serious...like wana fight...cus the thing broke ma...and heard is nic was holding it and keith kick it and it broke...lidat lo...waited for you after that...well..pissed in a moment...but fine after that...i know being pissed is useless...after that er....hahahaha....k SHUT MY MIND SHUT MY MIND...ahhaha....oh well...weekends...the way they are...or they are not like the past...hope things are better day by day...waiting for that day to be how we planned it to be...but i know...ill miss all...everything with you including you...during the period of 8 years...try to keep my hopes burning...
i love you so much...enough to last for some time even if we are apart....
muacks dear

2005-07-22T20:07:00.000+08:00

Been about 1 week since any of us blogged... busy week ya? next week's gonna be even more busy... so many tests.. sianzation... Haven eaten ur dinner now right dear? poor thing... wenta find my water bottle today while u went out wif the boys... couldn't find anything la... all same design as last time.. gota wait for a nice design to come out... hahax... yi dian niao niao means "pissed"? hahax... u and ur stupid language.. hahax... send me home after that... hmm... LOLX... hao la.. later u shy... hehe... I'm not evil... so I keep it a secret for u kz? hahax... "oh my god"? hahahah... hao la hao la... bie xiao nii le... wenta sl's house today... u see her pri sch pic u will beng... damn damn funny... she keep wacking my ass if I laugh... hahax... swollen liao.. hahax.. juz jk... alright... if I could choose a story to be ours? u know It's "Alot like love"... I always say... my life is like a movie... If that can happen in a movie... Why can't it happen in my life... u said... ur life is nv a movie... too boring? but u're part of my life... & therefore... part of my movie... Be the main actor... I wish... hao la... let nature takes it's course... I promise... I wouldn't forget this deal... nv will... 3rd of Jan... 2013... DON FORGET...

I love you dear... muacks...

2005-07-16T20:16:00.001+08:00

like yesterday?haha...well im glad that you were fine...now you toking to me but you duno i posting ba...today you went to shop...bought your roxy bag?haha...and you had many many nice neo prints...so chio...really...take with me like waste money hor?haha...next time teach me how to post...today i dint do anything...watch tv...eat...do hw and stuff...lidat lo...duno later going cousin house or not...well anyway...yesterday ya...went to kbox to find you after i took my chem test...had to rush it though...haha...but quuite sure no problem ba...then rushed over there...dint spend time with you much ma...2 days sick...i guess now...maybe im fine too le ba...it comes back..the pain...sometimes...but i have to learn anyway...you broke down suddenly on me...after you heard jie kou...and then tong hua came...well...it was somehow good ba...for once im able to provide my shoulder for you to cry on...my warmth to comfort you...i cried with you...duno if others saw...i jus tried to ignore...hold you long...i know in 2 months time we will probably break....i cried too...and you too...sometimes tears help...but not too much k?i dun wana see you hurt...when i held you yesterday...the tears were more or less painless...and i thk you soo much for that...went to your house after that...and err...haha...sry...next time your turn lo...haha..i know you will say disgusting you dun wan hor?or you will dun wan and still do...and laugh like mad...hhaha...sometimes this idiot topics are boout wad i have to cheer you up...
times of close relationship...
i cherish...though im about to end it...
ill try not to be in pain...
and still walk beside your life...
but never that important in it i guess...
i love you so much dear

2005-07-16T20:16:00.000+08:00

2005-07-15T20:06:00.000+08:00

sry I totally broke down infront of u today... couldn't hold back my tears anymore... It juz flows wif the song... I glad u were there... to hold me tight and dry my tears... I donno why... It was juz an emotion I couldn't control... But overall... I hope u had a gd time today... Onli joy and laughter.. rmb? I like that game... It was fun.. hahax... for me la... coz u were damn funny... now you're telling me this news... I guess it came at a right time ba... Don feel guilty anymore... coz u hafta do this anymore... Return to ur life ba... shi nii de jiu shi nii de... san bu liao... ye dou bu kai.. ke shi... bu shi nii de... jiu bu shi nii de... I guess thats how things work ba... I always believe... ming ming zhong zhi you an pai... everything happens for a reason... we've talk through this tonnes of times... I hope u really understand... I know it hurts... Yet... lemme repeat again alright... This are all lessons of life... I reckon we predicted that this love ain't gonna be forever... Becoz even me myself... don believe in this word... hao la... bie ti bu yu kuai de shi... there are some idiots I juz couldn't stand... wadever it is... It's juz for show... whose real and whose not... I clearly understand... Respect others if u want others to respect you... lesson of the day...

Take care of urself.. don get sick again.. But I'll be there for u if u are... always...

Muacks... love ya...

14-july 2005

2005-07-14T14:31:00.000+08:00

iv thought through...every night....
maybe we shoulden have started...i was too stupid to start this even though i knew....i was too stupid not to listen to what others say...now its too late...love has taken its toll on me...and im not strong enough to bear it...i fell...sick..tired...you are confused...of too many things happening...i understand...and since the feeling is fading...there is no need to go on meaninglessly...iv lost myself to you...its as if you are really part of my life...and now i duno how to get myself back...wad others say never made sense to me...i cant get it in...my mind tells me straight away they are not me...they duno y i cant....wad you mention was not wrong...in fact...its right...we have nothing in common...we have nothing to talk about...and there is only such a minor chance of me being with you forever...you said friends are forever....yes...they stand a much better chance to be forever...but not for sure...from that day you said you fell in love with me...i was sure our hearts are beating as one...but i guess not...love can fade...yes...but i can assure you mine wont fade this fast or easily...i know it can take challenges...im tired too...tired of lying to my mum..tired of crying...i tried...so hard...and i guess we cant be together...we are not fated to be...in the future...ill try to be who i was to you...but im fairly sure i wont be able to...cus my love for you has already burnt too deep into me...i duno when it can be removed...i duno whether washing it away would be pain or not...you said these are all lessons of life and someone would teach me this in the future...true...now...dun turn back...go on with your life now...and ill go on too...with you in it...as it is now...you are this much of importance...i cant be your bro anymore...i cant...cus its never brotherly love...its true love...find yourself happiness in the future...cus i know i haven been giving much to you during this period of half a year...they say its imposible for the first love to be forever...iv tasted the reason y...wo hui yi zhi deng dai...ying wei ni gao shu wo...ru guo wo men you yuan fen...wo men hui zai yi qi...shuo yi...wo zhan shi ba wo de xing fang zai ni na li hao ma?...deng dai yuan fen de dao lai...ru guo wo deng bu dao...na dui bu qi...
i hope now you know how much i love you
wo tai yi lai ni le...
she bu de li kai...
ni de wei dao yi zhi pai huai...
bie guan wo...qian jing ba...........................dear....

2005-07-12T20:44:00.000+08:00

I know it's hard... I know it hurts... But there are too many examples around us.. where couples break and can't even be friends... say I'm selfish or wadever... I want u forever in my life.. & onli friends can be forever... I know it's not fair for you... But really... leaving sweet memories behind... is far much more better than arguements and than break up... I want u to be part of my life forever... if fate permits... someday we'll be together again... If we choose to hold on... & we both know that our preceptions, interest, thinkings are so different... If we hold on... when we have nothing else to talk about... then... things are not gonna work... let's spend this 2 months together baby... without arguements... without quarrel... I understand ur thoughts... I know u feel that.. or wonder why I can leave without pain... Becoz I don wanna feel the pain... becoz I've thought about it... & realise that... I wanna walk down the corridor, saw u and can laugh & joke wif u when we break... & not... saw each other... and avoid or pretend... we didn't see each other... I want my inbox to be still full of ur messages 3 yrs down the road... telling me about ur day.. :'( don cry... I thought u say u want me to be in ur life forever... right? I will be.. Juz that the status is different.. does it matter? as long as our relationship can be lasting... If fate wants us to be... we will be... If we're not to be... no point forcing too... right? Dry ur tears... I'll dry mine... spend this 2 months wif me... wif onli joy & laughter... without tears & pain... alright? Hey come on... wad if this flickle mind of mine, suddenly decided I couldn't be without u? smile?

I wouldn't regret... becoz in my life... I've met some1 who loved me this much.. always there for me... & forever will be...

I love you....

Thank you.. for everything...

2005-07-10T17:14:00.000+08:00

banana man is here!haha...haiya mus tok to you and also right...now you ummm wad umm me....haha...later you say i write crap...hao la...owe you 2 post...hehe...very long nver post le...quite lots past...ehhh...ytd went to your house and 'meet the parents'...haha...they are all nice...lucky dint ask much questions...only a while of weirness...when they ask who is your bf...and all say OOOHHH....haha...too scared and went to the opposite to eat...hehe...the kids so cute...joey got very nice haiir...haha...she very guai...no wonder travis like her...haha...two of them baby tok...anyway...babies hands are always so cute...they can only grab your finger...as if its a very big thing...haha...aiya duno wad to say le la...there are so many things...i jus cant recall...now im entertaining you with my looks...you owe me man!laugh so loud!and your promise still haven fulfill!im so heart broken man...haha...well this week...i have moodswing?sry dear...i jus desperately need to feel you...im fine now?hhaha...still haven had some time silence with ya...but ill wait...miss you dear....somehow...is this love growing?muacks...i love you dear...
soo much...

2005-07-10T16:07:00.000+08:00

Hey... been kinda long since any of us post right? yupz... u wenta cut hair... & I haven got much to do... so decided to post... yesterday u came to my house for the bbq... wasn't as bad as u think right? the little kids are all so cute... hahax... Joey so guai hor? she can sit on ur lap for so long wif juz a satay in her hand.. hahax... My mum they are fine right? no questions.. lolx... But my cousins they all kinda kpo la... no choice.. lolx... but anyway.. I hope u enjoy urself yesterday dar... hmm... kinda stressful week for me... & for u... look likes it's gonna rain soon... don get caught in the rain... No choir tomorrow.. yay... Next week got chemistry test... damn... muz find help le... hmm... wad else? I'm sorry for wadever it is... I don really know wad u wanted at that time... but now I do... I'll try... try my best to give u wad u need kz? don keep to urself next time will u? lemme know... juz like u will want me to let u know... you have been a great help... whenever I couldn't take it anymore... I'm glad u're there... not exactly there... But at least there to listen and gimme some advice... I hope I didn't affect u much...

I found out a reason for me. to change who I use to be.

& the reason is you.

Get home soon. It's getting dark.

Muackz. I love you.

2005-07-02T15:43:00.000+08:00

Alright.. my turn... In case I can't go online tomorrow.. Happy 6 months anni in advance... gonna be busy until tues coz of my great grandmother's funeral... was really tired the past few days... sorry if I nelected u... & u say u will deliever food for me everyday de hor.. hahax... lucky u bought yesterday if not I'll hafta eat cup noodles... wad else? This weekend no hw for me... But I have alot of catching up to do coz lots of subjects teach new stuff... time flies huh? 1/2 yr liao leh... oh well... I donno wad to say... nth much to say... Haven been thinking much lately... slp was all I wanted.. hahax.. don scold me... lolx... k la.. nth much to say... I promise to write a longer post next time round kZ? when I have more things to say... go play bball wif ur cousin later... so that u can be more occupied...

Love love,

Muackz...

2005-07-02T15:31:00.000+08:00

have been some time since any of us blog hor dear?the holidays was rough...enough problems...i jus hope we will be together forever...6 months coming...tml will be it...half a year of you in my life...thks for all this...decisions we both made...quarrels and more...there is quite some to look back to now...but i guess im always greedy for more...im so greedy i want you all my life...haha...nowadays you have to go to your relative funeral...but luckily i got my phone back...haha...tried so hard to get it back and finally i did...now is to keep it safe...i wanted to keep it as a surprise de...but you insist i tell ya...and you used the super powerful technique on me...dddeeeaaarrr....i cannot take it and told you...haha...well we really need time for each other...and we did had some since this first week of sch reopen...haha...2 movies...but to me both were nice...some problems have been turning up for you...ill be here to listen...scream and shout...tell me all dear...and ill do wad i can to cheer you up baby...this tues...sry i sorta got angry with you...you know y...this is always repeating between us...so i thought wad for i continue it?so i manage to swallow my anger...schooling days are seriously much better...but actually the fact is...whenever i get to be with you all the time..its good time...haha
i love you dear....
lets sail this rough sea of love together...

2005-06-25T14:11:00.000+08:00

I wrote wad I wanted to say... But I realised it's useless saying... so I delete everything... wad's the point... it seem as though I'm talking to myself... so... nvm... I know I'll get use to it... lesson of the day: There's no1 in the world u can depend on. There's no1 in the world u can trust. oops.. sorry.. I'm starting to talk to myself again... oh well... I've gota better things to do now.. have fun... If worrying is juz a sentence... I'm worried about every1 in the world...

If love is juz 3 words... I'm in luv wif every1...

2005-06-22T18:27:00.000+08:00

dear?still shopping?haha...i wanted to blog this noon de....but for some stupid reason made by me i cant...and now then i can blog...haha....let me tell you the story behind it...long long ago...during this noon in my house...i did english compre year november 1991 de....do till left summary then notice the SUPER big mistake...its the wrong compre...so sian man...was so entu to finish it early and come online to wait for ya...then crap come out...haha...now jus started one the correct compre...mean today dint accomplish much...lidat lo...anyway i listend to you...went to do sit up and stuff again....wah so fast old le...i went to jog...jogging still can....but sit up....hehe...do till 60 goto rest first then can reach 100....last time dunid de lo...now old le...stomach still got lines...haha...OPPS...blog will let whole world know...shit....nvm....so wad did you buy today?except earrings still got wad?haha...either you guai or bad gal...lidat la...hmm....i went to chalet 3 days...did you miss me?haha...duno...but i got sms you quite some times...the chalet sucks anyway...no fun at all...where got people enjoy chalet in own country with parents!?haha...60%?haha...alright...hope it will be better soon...sch reopening soon...has its own good and bad la...wo zai den ni shop shop hui lai...hehe
future lies unknown...
jus as love is never sure...
but my feelings for you will not change....thats for sure
love you dar

2005-06-21T14:24:00.000+08:00

Hey dear... here's a story elaine ask me to read & I find it nice... so gota let u read it... and in case I lose the webbie later... here... http://www.samuelgoh.net/love/sorry.htm... alright u're back today... nothing much to say... juz wanna let u read it... & this,

http://www.samuelgoh.net/love/ai_ni_shi_ge_cuo.htm, I cried while watching... don laugh ok... it's touching... hahax...

love love,

Muackz :))

2005-06-17T16:59:00.000+08:00

I'm wondering wad are u doing now... playing bball? or guai guai doing hw? u muz have thought I went out... I was online from 1.30 to 3... but u weren't.. oh well.. nvm... I'm so guai today... I finished 1 chinese compo... maths everything done except asknlearn de... and I'm so free that I have time to complete 1 storybook I borrowed yesterday... boring... Tomorrow's weekend again... donno wad the hell to do... & u will be at chalet from sun to tues... oh well.. enjoy urself... wed we're going sentosa... I wonder if u are coming... But u weren't then it's ok.. really... Then guess I gota see u onli when sch reopen ba... Time kinda fly fast ya? it seems as if we juz pass 5 months... but in 2 weeks... 6 months anni is reaching... 1/2 yr le... This holiday is the worst of all... we talk things out.. I'm so much more clear and calm... I hope u finally understand wad I want... or need... somethings u juz gota get use to it ba... or learn to get use to it... I am now... I understand I have to... otherwise it's difficult for u... and for me... actions are not that important huh? wad most important is I know how ur heart feels right? ya I guess so... I don wanna watch batman le... I wanna watch a lot like love... But we can catch that when sch reopens...

<33

2005-06-16T15:26:00.000+08:00

its been some time since any of us blog...nearing one week dun have...well...went out with you one monday...seems ages ago...and i yearn for it again...i know...no use toking bout it...so i wont...yea so we went out...watch mr and mrs smith...was nice...you like it too right?yea...and had a walk round bugis...ate and stuff...but it was quite bad for you huh...those shoes hurt your leg and you had stomach ache...pain till you sweat....i can nearly feel the pain too...nothing to do after that...went to chinese garden walk...haha...ever since we were little children ba....well ya...dun blame you for going off early.....anyway...all that seems so far from now...and this holiday is going quite painfully...for you...and also me...its imposible that i dun care for you....if i dun...y do i love you?maybe i dun show that i do or wad...maybe i dun show how i love you...so be it...you have told me...and its my fault...im tired of hurting you anymore...i know wad you ask for is not much....im not gona say it to you again....maybe i wont tell myself either...cus it seems like iv been not helping much am i?never did i treat this love unseriously...im not trying to boast...but i tink there are not much guys who treat love seriously at this age...this love has always been a something i cant let go easily or treat it simply...wad i can do now...i duno...its quite a big damage in this relationship huh....im never gona say wad ill do....

2005-06-11T14:21:00.000+08:00

alright I'm seriously bored... But at least I finished some work this morning :))... No idea wad to do now... maybe after posting this I'll go watch tv ba... let u play ur game... No idea where to go... finish everything I wanted to buy... I simply love the pink paul frank purse... so cute... hahax... sinazation... Monday gonna watch Mr and Mrs smith... I know I'll like that show... Hope nothing goes wrong ba... & tomorrow night u'll have badminton? I guess so... In no mood for shopping le... Juz want to have some relaxation... I want another holiday... but seem impossible le ba... I hate this screwed up life of mine now... But I know, I'll be able to fix it back... sometimes things are not just the way they seem to be I guess... But oh well... doesn't matter... Hope thursday will be able to go wild wild wet... or should we go sentosa? no no... don want... don wanna get tanned yet... YET... hahax... no idea wad to post le... Tomorrow I got to find somewhere to go... Don wanna rot at home... hahax...

I wish u can get back ur phone asap...

I miss you baby... & I need you...

Love love,

Muackz...

2005-06-10T17:29:00.000+08:00

DEAR....i saw you leh...haha...finally...its really a difference...when i saw you something jus tells me im happier...hehe...thks baby...it has not been any pleasant for some time huh dear?we miss each other soo much...that we are getting nuts..haha...today played bball with you and daughter and shaun...haha now then i know fathers day is on sunday...my day!haha...and other fathers out there...im proud to be a father!haha...and to be a future father of paris...anyway...play bball...someting wrong with me...i got tired easily...heart seems to beat very fast...so i dint play much...dint wana move much...rest for so long...trying to find a quiet place with you...haha...cant really find it with sl around...haha...oh ya...so wang jia vs huang jia...hahaha...rain came...shut me down...well it was jus 2 hours?but i saw you...and i had some time with you...im jus happy... x) hehe...next weeks activities are full of you!!haha...not full but i would be happy as long as they go as planned...monday go out with you for movie...thurs with u to wild wild wet....hehe...pray that nothing wrong happens...eg: rain. haha...wish all goes well...
muacks!sending you hugs from afar...
i love you darling...

2005-06-07T21:31:00.000+08:00

I'M BACK! yay! oh well... langkawi was quite fun la... but penang totally sux... hahax... I have something for you... but still wondering whether I should give you anot... haiz... don want it to end up in there... I donno... now I'm wondering where is the cd... izzit in there too? haiz... don want talk about it... anyway I brought the doggy wif me... gald I brought... coz I slept well wif it... hahax... wad else? Talking on da phone wif sl now... Talking about ur freedom... haiz is the only word I guess... oh nvm... I'M BOrED! going to orchard tomorrow wif sl... haven been going for 5 days? hahax... anyway I also have nothing to shop for... but it's better then rotting at home... I miss you so much... & ur idiot phone... so no choice... the only way is to ask sl to pass you the message... hmm... It's kinda gd news you are not going you know? don hafta miss you so much... hahax... hao la... I promise a longer 1... I keep my promises... ;)

Missing you 2...

Love love, Muackz...

2005-06-07T17:41:00.000+08:00

DARLING!!!!!faster come back...i miss you...you mus be coming back soon le ba...tonight i have badminton...god damn it...i come back straight away come online k?its from 9-10pm...try my best to reach home as early as posible...these days without you are damn shitty...haha...one things is that i cant be with you...the other is...my mum.we had an arguement again...and she forced me to be jus friend with you...but i cant...so im always yours...your bf.i jus told her i will try...and finally after papa coaxing her...she understand and say she wont force me anymore...jus wan us to be friends...she tok about her old age and she dun wan the relationship between our family to be broken...dun mind about that...i can handle it...another good news...or not neccessary good.im not going bintan le!duno y...ma jus tell me...soo i duno la...hope she let me go the hotel...i want to find some time and tok to her about my freedom...and i duno about my hp...nvm about all that...i will find a way...no matter wad...ill be with you...im yours...all yours...no one can take me away from you...k?haha...wish to see you as soon as posible my dear...i miss you...oh ya.tok about that. i had dreams...ever since i start missing you...very weird dreams...cant remember them...had to do with you....duno wad i went to the car trip too...haha...fat hope...i wonder wad will happen if i see you anytime soon...i tink you better stay away from me...i may be dangerous...ahaha...im getting mad about you le...muacks!
love you sweetie...
bring back...bring back...oh bring back my darling to me!haha
hugs!!!+muacks!!!

5 months le

2005-06-04T14:19:00.000+08:00

Yeps...its been some time...thks for giving me soo much dear...you are my first...and i hope you will be the last...being by my side through my life...holidays here le...and you have to go overseas...haha...i mus train le...i dun wana die during holidays...hehe...but i do miss you...very much sweetie...this is the first day since you left yesterday...cant tok...cant even send a word to you...its so agonising...so i try to find things to occupy my time...had a few tuition sessions with my jie...watch tv...play com...quite alright...not exactly bored...went to yan yin house yesterday after oral to wait for geo class...were reading blogs...haha...anyway...went out with you the day before...plus one more before..went to watch movie...eat...haha(10 inch pizza) and bought your doggy...like it dear?haha...i know you love it...you cant even stop hugging it when you saw it...after that we had some time so sent you home...yea i do love your home...haha...oh well...i hoped you enjoyed that day...i really goto find a way now...ma knows now...wans us jus to be friends...and i hope that will make her return my phone...if she doesn't...rely on msn?haha...not really posible...but i'll do my best to find a way...no one can stop me from loving you....its an emotion...my emotion...so even i cant stop it...from the day i fell in love with you...it started painfully...and you gave me a chance and healed me...so thk you...my dearest...you know i love you...so i wont keep saying...haha...we had arguements..quarrels during this journey of ours...but there is a long way to go...and i hope it will be full of your presence...cus i need you...and you proved your worth to me...and i cant take the pain to leave you...not even more than 1 day...haha...i can never say yes to breaking up i guess...im jus too afraid of losing you...hehe...am i too selfish?hope you dun mind dear....lets hold one another's hands forever...and be loving till the end of our world...
wo zhen xiang yi bei zi zai ni shen bian...
wo aii ni...zhen de hao aii ni
muacks dear...happy 5 month anni

Happy 5 months anniversary

2005-06-02T22:51:00.000+08:00

hihi... I'm gonna post a long long 1 before I leave for my 5 days trip... ok... I guess pretty much things happen these few days... hmm... we broke up... for 1 day.. LMAO... ok... don laugh... I mean... we broke up for some reason... & that is to respect her decision... But apparently, we couldn't take it for even 1 day... ur phone got confiscated... & gosh... it was tough... No gd night messages.. No nothing... I can't contact u... & the last resort was msn... haiz... but oh well... I nv thought I needed you this much... But now I realised... maybe I do... *hugs & smooches*... so ya... we broke on 31th & patched on 1st.. lolx.. I felt weird talking to you as if u were my baby brother again... I can't... neither could you... but oh well... It doesn't matter now... coz u're still mine afterall :))... hmm... went to movies today as planned... madagasca... was funny la... but not in my list of favourite movies... then wenta pasta mania for dinner... I can't believe u finish ur 10 inch pizza... Crazy ass! Then got my doggy... I love him... & he's juz so huggable... I'm bringing him wif me.. hehe... ok.. I know u juz simply love my house.. hahax...

hmm... tomorrow is our 5 months anniversary... You should aslp now... tomorrow there's english oral.. or when u read this... oral's over... I hope u've done well... sorry I'm not around... & I've gota slp early too coz I've to wake up early than u for the trip... Can't post this at 12am... But I juz wanna say... Dear, we've reached 5 months... Isn't long enuff I know... But it seems so impossible in da 1st place... from 3rd of Jan... It was a surpise... then monthsary after monthsary came... movies after movies... do u still rmb how many movies we've watched? I guess no1 really thought we could last... till today, I still somehow have the thoughts that I'm not worthy enuff for you... can you don always let me have my way? I'm pushing you know? hahax... but oh well... nobody's perfact... we'll make up for each other's imperfection... other's opinion is not important... so long as we understand wad we are moving towards together... ya? I still believe in happily ever after :))...

I love you dear...

& I'm gonna miss you so much... which I already am...

love love,

Muackz...

2005-05-29T19:23:00.000+08:00

i know you're real bored now...and i haven been with you for the whole day...plus last night...haiz...holidays are here....good thing?can sleep...bad thing?loads more...i guess theres no mood to joke now...so i wont...shall not tok about wad today ba...nothing much anyway...milo junior here le...i got my haircut le...next week gona be better?you can get outside and shop finally...sry i cant go out with you dear...ill try to...as much as i can...theres nothing to write now...jus wana tell you that i miss you...i guess thats not much anyway...but i really do...i dun wana say more le...maybe you wont even wana read this..haha...i love you dear...hope i can be more 'entertaining'...ill spend more time with you...sry...muacks

2005-05-29T15:57:00.000+08:00

Haven been blogging for quite awhile... hmm... start of hoilday... feeling s0oo s0ooo bored... I've been trapped at home for the past 2 days... But TOMORROW. Tomorrow I'm gonna go shopping... wahaha... great singapore sales! gosh.. I can't wait... hahax... This fri is our 5 month anni... But I'm not gonna be in singapore... sorrie dear... but oh well.. so wad if I am... u can't get out either... and when I get back, u gota go bintan... and maybe I'll be flying to new zealand... tonnes & tonnes of homework waiting to be done... & the most wonderful of all? PHYSICS! loads of it man... SIANZATION! weekends u always got plenty to do... then I've gota be stuck at home... nvm... once monday come, I'm gonna go out every single day.... one more day at home, I'll die... hmm... plenty of movies to catch.... Monster in law. mr and mrs smith. madagasca? is that the correct spelling? who cares... But the best thing about holiday? I get to slp as much as I want... hao la.. I know this entire post is full of crap... But I really got nothing to say... I promise... I'll write a longer post next time... without crap kz? hahax...

muackz dear.

Love ya...

& I miss you s0o much already.

2005-05-23T15:43:00.000+08:00

i duno wad to say or wad to do...one after another arguements we have...i wan to stop...i really wan to...i will jus say all i feel out now...
do such things make you want to break with me?i guess so...cus i have not been giving you much happiness have i?iv always not been the one for you there...have i?i duno...i really dun....i wan to give so much to you....I REALLY REALLY want to...but it seems i have been giving you nothin except for sadness...to me...we both make mistakes...i do more?i have more restrictions in life that dont suit you?i dun mind telling the world im crying this moment im writing this...cus it really hurts to know that you are unhappy being with me...im being not a bf to you...why....why....i keep asking myself y do i keep making such damn stupid mistakes...im in a confusion...last night i thought about all the times that i had with you...maybe not to you...but to me you are the one who i really love and will wan to be with you forever...im going to hate myself if this is going to end...
i need you...no matter wad you say...i need you...mistakes i made...i have to learn from them...im not telling you...im telling myself...i can not have your trust...so be it...I really dun wan to see you hurt again...love hurts...y mus it be this way?even so...i am willing to take it....i want to take all the pain...so long as you still love me and you are happy being with me...you say maybe you are asking for too much...i dun tink so...but i jus need you to bear with it too if you are hurt...i know its painful...but doesen this love have any worth to you?it worths soo much to me!im not blamin you...sometimes we jus have to give in dun we?i duno wad more to do...at the start of our relationship...we were not so deeply in love with each other...now that we are...i dun wan it to fade...i wan it to be forever in my life...i want to love you...i need you to love me...jealously is in every guy...i guess im being over sesitive sometimes...but i need you to be open about things...the more you hide from me the more i think of it...
we may leave each other one day...whether it is some time far from now or the next minute...but no matter how much pain i mus take...how much trubles and problems i mus face...i choose the far future...no one believes in me...i may be talking crap to say that i can be with you till the day i die...but i believe in myself.
all of the above is dedicatated to you my dear
im not lieing...but i guess you think all these is bullshit...
then after reading these bullshit...i hope you will understand me more
NO MATTER WHAT...NO MATTER WHO BELIEVES OR NOT...
i truely love you

2005-05-22T15:41:00.000+08:00

If I keep quiet from today... & nv tell u I posted... I wonder how long will u take to realise... & come read this... I feel like deleting this blog le... sianzation... shall learn to keep everything to myself... I've been on a down down mood these days... Refusing to talk to any1... and refused to listen... All I want... is my own world... I want to shut myself in a world of my own... Until I found back the broken pieces of me.. wad's wif me? don ask.. coz I don wanna answer... all I can... is stress... that should be the main cause of everything? I guess so... I stood on that place... for over an hour yesterday.. denched in da rain... but I feel so happy... happier then I can ever get for the past few days... The rain seem to wash my brain... maybe this is the life I wanna lead? NO... I don want thingz to turn out this way... But I'm tired... really really exhausted... I can nv be dependent on u.. so I've learned not to be... 5 months anniversary I can't be wif u... let's take that time to think over ba... I needed that relaxation.. alot.. leave this stressed up city for awhile... & hopefully... able to go New Zealand too...

I wish they can be as open minded as mine... but if they ain't... Then I guess we'll hafta respect their decision for you... No matter wad u say... That's my decision too... & that is... To respect them.

I hate to admit. But becoz I love you, that's y I need you.

2005-05-16T18:35:00.000+08:00

hihi dear! haha...finally i finish my exams le...yups...let them be gone...throw away...im glad you had fun today...its jus...enjoyable being with you dear...the longer the better...went to watch coach carter...quite nice...nice song...hehe...then went round shopping lo...sry i dint bring enough money today dear...cant buy for you...but i will if i can bluff my way out and go out with you dearie...haha...go get your doggy...oh and i saw some friends....saw jia liang...oh well nothin much...you gave me a great time too dear!except from scaring me...make me so kan chong...i ham ji la...haha...too bad cant send you home...ma rush me back...you enjoyed yourself i guess dear?haha...sry i suc at shopping...no comments...hehe...hao ba...its time to get back results soon...and holidays soon...either i can bluff my way out and see you bout twice a week or i cant...i wish i dun have to bluff and jus tell her...i know dear...but it all depends on results...lets both wish we can both do well k sweetie?i love you soo much...
muacks
love you...thks for the time...i needed it

2005-05-16T18:11:00.000+08:00

Hihi... Last day of examination for you... Finally... hahax... Wenta orchard together to watch "Coach Carter"... It was nice... But quite long... Hmm... Let bygones be bygones ba... Enjoyed today alot so forget about all the unhappiness yesterday... & the horoscope was so accurate today right?! hahax... I like the neoprints.. shall upload it later... lolx... 2 hours only lor... very big deal meh? I know u don like shopping.. But too bad.. I love it.. so u got no choice... :p lolx... saw quite alot of ppl today at orchard... But luckly for you, not them... wahaha... You should have seen your own reaction! was damn funny... hahax... I want that 1! Promise hor... 3th of June... School starts tomorrow.. sianzation... Hoilday's coming! yay! okok.. fine... u don like it.. lolx... nvm la... Think on the positive side.. can slp leh... hahax.. but boo... coz choir resumes... yuckz... anyway change of blog song coz tong hua is getting common le.. yupz yupz...

Really enjoyed today alot...

Muackz muackz...

Love ya...

2005-05-15T17:20:00.000+08:00

exams finish le!for you...haha...im adapting to it so nvm...soon gona finish too...jus 1 more...and we can go out and spend time together finally...but it seems theres some problem again...sry dear...theres nothing i can do...i jus acidentally fell asleep...forgive me k?since im not suppose to make you worry...dear...believe me i do worry bout you...duno wether you say it out of anger or wad...you tink i only worry bout you leaving me?i guess me worrying for you is not strong enough ba...oh well i have my own temper too...and i jus have to learn to keep it away from you...forget bout all this la...sian...i hate to repeat all these again and again...i jus wana love you and get your love...thats it...you finish exams le...had much fun on friday?haha...thks for caring bout me...im fine...you should go have fun and i should study anyway...and yesterday nearly man...haha...duno is phew or wad...i also dun wana tou tou muo muo...see first k sweetie?i love you...
muacks...
dun let these things get in the way
let us fly high hand in hand
this IS love

2005-05-03T20:20:00.000+08:00

Yeah! Happy 4 Monthz anniversary!muackz.. hahax... Was kinda in the mood to study juz now... But now I juz simply can't get anything into my brain... hehe... so since the following week is gonna be a busy 1, I shall blog now 1st... u can owe it till after exam... ;) "kind soul" lolx... kkz.. I know... self praise is international disgrace... lolx... nothing much today... But I really love the present... was marvellous... ((: muackz... hmm... Like urs? by now sure haven see yet... hahax... nvm... take ur time... enjoy it... lolx... "Yawning now"... was darn sleepy today... coz of u la... make me slp for only around 2 hours last night... hahax... was not really ur fault... I was thinking too much.. lolx... But it's really too much of a coincident right? hahax.. If I check then it's not really a surprise... oh well... Thankz anyway dear... It was really kinda sweet to see it 1st thing in da morning... Tomorrow got to really work hard & study for social studies mid yr paper le... Jia you ba... hahax... kinda hard though... was really tyco I even pass 1 test wif flying colours.. lolx... kkz... now I g2g study le...

Hugz & smoochez! Mwuahh...

Ying wei aii nii, shuo yi bu fang qii...

2005-05-01T19:07:00.000+08:00

wo ye bu zhi dao gai zhem mo ban le...i dun understand your ability to learn to let go...am i the only one now who believe in a happy ending?you believe in it too...i know dear...yups love is a mixture of tears, memories, sugar and laughter...but to me dear...this love is important to me...so important that any tears would make me wana let go...i duno how to anyway...family...friends...they are important too...but no matter wad...i dun care...as long as you still love me...i jus wish you can be the way i wish you would...i know its imposible...haha...can you understand that i dun wish those tears to be from you?for now...i guess you jus have to stop believing me...i dun deserve to have you trust anyway...i have to prove to you over time...but wu run ru he...zhe fen aii shi wo bu neng fang qi de...ru guo ni aii wo...ni ye bu hui yao fang qi...
muacks...if it can heal you
hugs...if it can make you smile
god has sent me...this idiot who love you...so dun lose me
contract with god: my lifetime...to love you...to stay with you no matter how unreasonable you may be...
zhe jiu shi wo yao ni ming bai de...AII DE JIA ZHI...

2005-04-30T19:16:00.000+08:00

hihi... u muz have died of boredom today... hahax.. sorry sorry dear... I know I say I will pei nii today... But nv coz mummy ask me go shopping... so I shall blog without u asking... so how's ur day? going crazy le right? But at least u're eating dinner at orchard now.. not that bad... Long weekend again... U say u hate it.. hahax... But at least can get to slp ma... hmm... wat to say leh... this coming tues 4 months & I'm so darn proud of my present! LOLX... so slow leh u.. give u so many clues then u realise... hahax... I know u're gonna love it.. I spend so much time doing it ok? you promise something that is huggable for 5 months... hahax.. silly... Unless u can forever be there then I want... I juz remember... 5 months is sch holiday... it's my turn to be bored now... wat to do leh... don feel like doing maths... & study social studies is so darn boring... Tomorrow maybe going to yan yin's house... Now waiting for u to go home... sianzation...

I'm offically missing u...

I say before... But I feel like repeating...

Each time I say I love u dear, I mean it more & more. Becoz each moment u become more precious then before...

Muackz...

2005-04-27T20:53:00.000+08:00

Come write le...since you are not online and im quite free...dear...this week so boring...the following weeks so boring!!haha...mei ban fa lo...work hard k dear?i will too...really need it this time...really wish my mum would approve when i tell her!! hope so....cus i really wana be with you forever....haha....and that requires parents approval...but shuo zhen de...she say no i aso dun care..hehe...but she is actually understanding enough if she can tell i really love you...and that i dun believe she will stop...she cant anyway...haha...she do not wan me to have relationship when young becus of 2 reasons ba...no 3....first shes does not wan my grades to be affected...wan me to concentrate on it la...second is she dun wan me to be in a relationship for like play play...she tinks its a waste of time...me too...third is becus she dont believe can find a right partner for your life when young...meaning she belive mus see clear future with things set lo...aiya this are wad all parents wan...some jus dun take it so seriously ba...dear...i wana see...hahaha....cannot take back de...anyway...4 month anniversary coming le...do you tink long dear?i wan it to be a lifetime...and i will work for it...
i love you dear...
muacks + :p...hehe
5201314

2005-04-26T20:21:00.000+08:00

I'm so freaking bored! totally not in da mood to study for tomorrow's chemistry test.. gonna flunk.. lolx... "touch wood"... hehe... oh well.. this 3 weeks is gonna be busy! This monday Maths test, tues social studies test, wed chemistry test... Thurs gonna study for friday's paper... haiz... Next week social studies mid yr paper! I need a break! hahax... haven start revising & haven feel the tension... haiz... Before I foget, next tues is 4 months anniversary le right? anyway you say u will get me something de hor... without any1's help! lolx... I wanna see ur facial expression! hahax.. But I'm sure u don dare... even if u dare I also don dare... hahaha... okok... enough of that... These days u keep sending me home... hmm... part of me wish u did.. but part of me says tests are more important... wat to do? If too late then nvm le... kz? hahax... u claim it's small and cute... of coz small la... isn't urs the same size? urs is special order de ah? hahax... even if u want also not much chances... Tomorrow after chemistry test I still have mrs gan's maths remedia lessons... I love her teaching... she makes me understand the whole chapter in just an hour... okok... enough of me bubbling my crap here...

wo aii nii... :p

+muackz dear... [our language.. hahax...]

"Almost here"

2005-04-23T18:53:00.000+08:00

Brian:Did I hear you right?

Cause I thought you said

Let's think it over

You have been my life

And I never planned Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light

Where the love once shined so bright

Came without a reason

Don't let go on us tonight

Love's not always black and white

Haven't I always loved you?

Delta:But when I need you

You're almost here

And I know that's not enough

And when I'm with you

I'm close to tears

cause your only almost here

Brian:I would change the world

If I had a chance

Oh won't you let me

Treat me like a child

Throw your arms around me

Oh please protect me

Brian & Delta:Bruise and battered by your words

Days are shattered, how it hurts

Brian:Oh, haven't I always loved you?

Delta:But when I need you

You're almost here

And I know that's not enough

And when I'm with you

I'm close to tears

'cause your only almost here

Brian & Delta:Bruise and battered by your words

Days are shattered, now it hurts

Brian:Haven't I always loved you?

Delta:But when I need you

You're almost here

Brian:Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you

Delta:And when I hold you

You're almost here

Brian:Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted

Brian & Delta:And now I'm with you

I'm close to tears

Brian:Cause I know I'm almost here

Brian & Delta:Only almost here

2005-04-23T13:52:00.000+08:00

dear...y mus this be happening every weekend...i dun wish this to be happening...if its my fault...pls tell me and dun jus say that...the words are enough to hurt me...i dun want to make you cry again...but hows that posible when i have to say out how things are for us?dear...never say that again...dun make that come true either...cus you know...how deep we have fallen in and it will be jus so pain for you to leave me...i guess i had an experience of wad things would be if it happen...it has been since last night...till now that would be near 24 hours...cant stop thinking of you...helpless and not knowing wad to do...need you soo much i feel im going mad...now i know how it feels like...but i did promise you!and i dint break it! i wont make you worry bout me,not knowing where i am!yes...falling in love is painful...but is that important enough to end it? no matter how painful it is...i wont be able to stop loving you...seriously...i plan to live my life with you...so dun end it now...i am senseless...im stupid...let me learn at least!IM SO GOING CRAZY RIGHT NOW...haiz...dear...i dun blame you but can you jus reply?dun do this to me...last night when you dint send me a goodnight message...i kept on waiting...i kept on thinking...fell into a dream...its your sms on my phone...felt so real i woke up and check my phone...but it wasn't...i know you need me...i need you too...

unable to me by your side...i feel the pain too
but as i thought of the love you gave me
i dun mind taking all the pain...as long as you love me still
stay with me...ying wei wo xiang yi shen aii zhe ni

2005-04-17T13:57:00.000+08:00

Not in a very gd mood today due the arguement last night... y muz we always have this weekly arguement? really very sick and tired of it... so was really really pissed off... didn't have any mood to talk to u... u always tell me u wouldn't do it again... but wat do I get? time and again the same thing happen... told u something out of anger... But I do mean it at that moment... & I still mean it now.. hahax.. jk... wad I do mean is I'm really not gonna care wad u hafta to do.. where u hafta go... I can't seem to care anymore... so I wouldn't... It's easier for both of us... It really hurts right? Try not able to find me in hours... wad will be ur reaction? haiz... wadever it is... No mood to right le... broke my shortest record... nvm... shall write a longer 1 next time...

wo zhen de hen aii nii...

dan wo bu yao zai wei nii diao yan lei...

2005-04-16T17:23:00.000+08:00

dear...i come to write by myself...haha...guai hor?anyway im free la...this week you are sick...so either cannot go out or go home early...so i dun get to spend much time with you...you say dun feel me missing you...but i do la dear..shi bu ke neng bu hui de...i know you miss me too...but i cant be there for you at night de ma...haha...if we last till the long future...of course i will be able to pei ni...haha...sometimes you duno some things you say mean alot to me...when you sms to me 1000 days...together...i took it seriously and i really wish it would come true...anyway...we went to watch pacifier yesterday...finally managed to...but i dun blame you la...also not you dun wan to...you like the movie hor dear?haha...i tink its not bad...cute little babies...haha...then hor...aiya...sry la...k?correct chang he ma...haha...im trying so hard to make this only you understand...anyway...lidat lo...then after that you goto rush home le...this weekend very sian for you ba dear...do some revision k if you can?exams coming le...i also have to work hard...muacks dear...
i love you truely...
your tian shi...

100th day!

2005-04-13T17:08:00.000+08:00

Since u're asleep now & I've got nothing better to do, so I shall be nice & post... Sick for almost a week le.. Finally wenta see doctor today... so onli wenta sch for 1/2 day... Doc gave me mc for tomorrow also leh... can don go de... But for ur sake I go lor... hahax.. nice hor? ;) lolx... 2 weekz mc for Pe... no morning run! yay! But I'll miss pe... haiz.. nvm... This week is kinda busy due to the fact that both of us are sick... Next week plenty of tests... STRESS! gosh... so hate it... wanna escape... wanna run... hahax... Mid yr coming also... Jia you ba! & tomorrow's social studies test... hope can do well... Also got choir... haiz.. go there slack onli... can't even sing... wadever... sorry dear... Today's 100th day & I left u alone... hehe... ok.. I'll pay u back... muackz... ok fine.. I know wat u want... Anyway, sch work is getting more tensed up le... let's get our priorities right kz? Tests & examz... Finish everything le then can go out & enjoy... If not for urself, work for my sake kz? But talking about maths... I seriously need help... Donno wat the hell that guy is talking about... practically gave up... Wish Mrs Gan can come back soon... I already suck in that subject & he is making it worse... okok.. enough complaining...

wo aii nii dear...

Muackz...

2005-04-11T20:46:00.000+08:00

phew....lucky today i get to see you still...or else i will really die de leh...was missing you soooo much...never in my life have i need someone lidat...so you are my one and only special someone...haha...y suddenly mention the 0% promise again?haha...wad did you find out that make you worry dear...dun have to...i promise ya...as long as i live in your heart...i will stay with you...today after sch suppose have choir...but skip...SICK ok...haha...went to library to find someone whom i miss like hell...haha...soo wana hugg ya...resisted though...haha...nothing much lo...oh ya...34 le...too fast?haha...mei ban fa...im quick...haha...ok wad...since you miss it y not faster...hehe...this week gona be boring...later ya dun wana go sch again...will miss you again...k la dear...duno wad to write le...
muacks...soon
i love you dear

2005-04-09T17:12:00.000+08:00

My turn.. again... so tired... & cold... stupid fever... Ur fault leh... Share drink wif me.. hahax.. actually is not la... U already warn me le... Nvm.. I wanted to be sick anyway... so monday can don go sch... muahaha... But u sure say cannot de... I miss you too dear... Had been so down on my luck lately.. lucky I always have u ;)... Although it's nv ur fault yet u always let me vent my anger on u... Thx dear... Like I say, even if the whole world abondon me I know I'll still have you... ur 0% promise... don u ever dare break it... hmm.. wat more I wanna say? The girls complain le... say u pamper me too much... cozing my attitude to worsen... They say u always let me get my way, giving me wadever I want... who cares? I know u don.. hahax... ur arms always somehow find its way to cool me down... That's ur magic ba... wat more to say leh? 39 more to go.. so fast leh... u la.. bargain bargain.. shouldn't have let u win... The egg crack open le.. hope it will grow successfully :)... k la.. end here...

Muackz...

I love u dear..

U're right... Ni cai shi wo de tian shi...

5201314

2005-04-09T15:31:00.000+08:00

haha...your turn to be sick...my fault?maybe ba...but give you at the wrong time...now is weekend...haha...misss you soo much...how can you not come on monday?haha...if you are sick then dun la...but if you are ok le pls come leh...yesterday sports meet...i came in last or second last?haha...i dint bother to care la...hehe...but you got second leh dear...nearly first...after that came my house here play bball...maybe thats y you sick...be with so many sick people and still play...sure sick...25 three pointer....25 freethrow...haha...play for quite long...till 5...so tired then at night got badminton...no wonder today abit leg pain...haiz...dear...not angry le then good lo...bad luck ba...this thing if you wish to say i will listen de...problems have to be solve de right?cannot jus keep it aside...if you wan that can only be for awhile...but best is you're ok and happy...take care of yourself...now jus recover dun get sick again...kk dearie? muacks...miss it very much...miss you sssooo much...need your hug...
love you dear...

2005-04-06T19:17:00.000+08:00

miss u so much... owe me 1 again... chase u off to take a rest... I wish I had a fever... But my wish came true for u.. hahax... thank me... lolx... okok.. I know u wanna come to sch... Miss out quite alot of lessons today ya? Muz catch up k dear? I'm jealous of the egg! wahaha... okok.. I know the reason... But don worry about it... u spend so much time on the net seaching for it when u are suppose to be resting... Take extra good care of urself kz? drink plenty of water... ok.. I know I'm being nagging & said that million of times today... But muz listen! anyway tomorrow got choir... If still not feeling well don go kz? go home and rest... & lotz of homework today? take ur time hor... lucky tomorrow no social studies test le... If not dizzy still muz study... sleep early tonight kZ? hmm wat else I wanna remind u? I sound so like ur mum... nvm.. still muz say... hahax... take note of ya temperature... If u're much better then fri go play bball at republic poly... If not then maybe catch a movie kz? u sure wish u are not much better right? But they wanna play bball le.. how? nvm la... If still feeling unwell then don play... kkz...

Muackz... I'm loving my cotton candy till bits & pieces... ;)

Take good care of urself dear...

2005-04-03T14:51:00.000+08:00

haha...got go the concert nice hor?you sit front row i dint charge you leh...you are my dear ma....they all shouting' WEITING WEITING WEITING!!!'hahaha....okok...shout lo...i only can hear my dear...the sweetest....saying'i would'nt leave you...'thks so much dear...you dun have to be sorry...if i worry of course de ma...i do love you...no matter wad others say....this is wad i feel...hmm...went to watch movie with you...always a sense of...bliss?haha...nice movie...quite funny...although i dun quite get the part who likes who...hehe...then went to library...nothin much la...keep reading that book...got zhenlin leh!haha...so cool...then went to shop with ya yesterday...suang?ya...quite suang...getting the idea of shopping le...at least i can shop with you...with ma is death de...then i goto go off before your ma comes and ask lotsa questions...ni de ming zi? ni de zhuan chang? ni de weight and height?haha...studies not a problem ba dear...i jus hope your mum likes me....say until like we getting married soon...haha...hmm...you like to know my secrets hor...haha...i can tell you de...i mus anyway...your threatens so powerful...kk la...monday no conflict hor? dun have to...
45 more to go...gambate!!!
i love you soo much my dear
missing you

2005-04-02T22:31:00.000+08:00

Now listening to u singing tong hua over da phone... so funny... too high for u.. hahax... can't stop laughing... evil.. keep asking me don laugh... Lmao... I'm bored... haiz.. force me to write... nvm... tomorrow's 3 month's anni le... Thankz dear... for tolerating my temper all these while... for always letting me get my way... all ur hugz & kisses... see la.. juz now don wanna sing... now can't stop singing.. lolx... having a concert ah? err... wad to say? can I stop here? ok fine.. cannot... accompany me go shopping today... alright la... but keep wanting to sit down... lousy leh... BOYZ... anyway I love the keychain... or izzit a hp accessories? hahax... It's on my pencil case anyway.. Thx dear.. muackz... oh ya... 72 more to go.. wahaha.. so many.. I wonder how long does it take... hmm.. hahax... running out of idea wat to say le la... all ur fault.. hahax... k la... I end here kz? anyway tomorrow's 3 months which means the 2 weeks time... I tell u the answer today kz? I wouldn't leave u... I'm sorry for making u so worried... I have no idea wat am I thinking at that time... kz? g2g offline le... talk to ya on da phone kz? talking dirty on da phone... lolx.. damn funny...

muackz... I love you lotz...

2005-04-01T22:22:00.000+08:00

DEAR!!! I'M TOTALLY PISSED OFF NOW!!! ok... I know I'm complaining at this particular moment to you... But I wanna write here... I, PAMELA LEE CHIN, TOTALLY HATE THAT PARTICULAR BITCH TO THE CORE!!! wadever... scold me evil... never in my life have some1 been labelled bitch... I never knew wat was the meaning anyway... till this person taught me... at least she's gd in something.. setting a bad example... wahaha... is like... she can claim she did nothing... But if she did not, y should we pick on her? they are so many ppl in the world I can pick on... wadever... she's juz disgusting... quit acting... stop acting.. becoz u suck in it! if u wanna curse me & swear at me, come right infront of me... don do it behind my back... becoz I'm gonna do it right infront of u... "close ur mouth!" I wouldn't resort to scolding u bitch... becoz alot of ppl will help me wif that word... I don hafta do it myself...

okok... I'm sorry dear... hahax... spent the entire paragraph scolding her... ok... *smile*... not gonna let her affect my mood... yuckz! disgusting.. I'm gonna have nightmare if I think of her... hahax... k la... 2 more days to 3 monthz anniversary.. muackz... oh ya... 73 more to go... have something to give you which I find very meaningful... help me take extra good care of it kz? till the special word grow out... wonder how long it's gonna take... But the taller and bigger it grows the longer we are... kz? wenta movies today... was usual... coz I have my entire bed in the cinema.. lolx... & u already asked me that question millions of time.. I have no idea... fatz?! gosh! wat a reminder... argh... hahax.. nvm... tomorrow still got choir... IT SUCKZ! CHOIR SUCKZ! coz there are too many morons in there... HAIZ... gonna change new blogskin coz I don wanna have the same taste as her! wat an insult! eee... k la...

Jet t'aime...

I can't promise we will last till forever... becoz there is no such thing as forever... [sk taught me that... hahax..]

But I will promise u... I'll nv let go ur hand again easily...

For I might not be able to find another pair as warm as urs...

Another pair who holds me tightly will nv bear to let go...

2005-03-30T18:43:00.000+08:00

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH....so angry...so paiseh...if you say hor....i.....duno wad to do....haha...wana argue with you also no way to win...you got so many 'finishing moves'...that say le i straight away game over...not fair? not ba...its me who suck at it...haha...yesterday thought can go with you to library de...i did anyway...but not very long...cus stupid english write program...select me go learn how to write compo...in the end i din write finish jiu pao le...haha...duno i wana get in the selection or not...selected good for english lo...not selected good for going out...haha...still went to library though...rush there...nothin much lo...tomolow you got test hor...jia you k dear?i improve you also mus...hope this friday can go out...anything dear...hope can watch movie though...but must wait for you i tink...nvm...wadever...duno wad to do...now toking to you with mic...so bo liao...like toking to myself....duno wad to write le...too angry to...haha
love you dear...anniversary comin...hopes for better
muackks..hug

2005-03-27T18:52:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry... for being such a unreasonable me... sorry for not being understanding enough... I don always want ur sorries... They really mean nothing.. they are juz words... I don want ur promises if u can't keep them... they are not meant to be broken... or at least I think so... it's confusing... how sometimes I need freedom more then u & sometimes I need u more then freedom.. I don even know! geez... I wish some1 juz enlighten me... haiz... watever... was really pissed at u these 2 days... Gals are fussy creatures while boys are senseless creature... I don mean talk no sense ok? I mean can't sense feelings... wadever... agrue wif u these 2 days... don really know whose fault izzit... am I being over sensitive? I guess so... Or are u being too unconcern? you can't be always there when I need u... I guess that is a fact we can't change & hafta get use to... I claim I have a mood swing everytime we argue & wanna keep quiet is becoz I don wanna start a fight... & sugary don work when I'm pissed... wadever...

I get worked up becoz I care... If u can't feel it, I tell u now...

DON ever promise me anything u can't keep...
Je t'aime

2005-03-27T18:00:00.000+08:00

yeps...of course i believe..i wan to believe anyway...haha...1 week le...and also 1 week close to our anniversary...how will it be? i dun dare to assume dear...cus im too afraid of losing you...haiz...jus had a mini 'arguement'...haha...my bloody fault la...no need to fight whose fault isit...i made a promise and broke it...and now i shall mention the word you say no feeling de....'sry'...wad other ways to express it? repend for wadi have done lo...whenever i CAN spend time with you i will...i dun have freedom from my parents...you know dear...and i know but i still made this promise so its clearly my fault...dun ever wana make this mistake again...dear...i mention this is not to blame you...jus wonder...do you need freedom or me?this 2 are contrasting...i know sometimes you need 1 but not the other and it changes...pls tell me when u need me when you dun k?im a guy but i do sense...jus that i dun dare to make assumptions...ok dear?dun be sad...i dun wana see you unhappy...even though you still look beautiful that way...moodswings of yours...not your fault not mine...we will learn to cope with them de dear!dun worry!
i love u...
dun ever wana break my promises....
cus i will hurt you

2005-03-23T21:52:00.000+08:00

Like our blog song... believe kz? I will believe our story will be like fairytale... wif happy ending... Muackz... Love is not juz a word... is a feeling.. a sound... a sound of 2 hearts beating as 1....

2005-03-22T21:09:00.000+08:00

hmm...lets see...tok on phone and write so difficult...haha...now ya singing...hehe...your favourite song huh?also can be know nas your crazy song...when you crazy you will sing this very loudly de...haha..ok la...dun tok crap le...later you scold me...haha...my results improve alot hor?haha...i wana do it can de...dun worry bout being a distraction to me...i learnt to cope with it ...but problems always come huh...dun seem to have a free and easy relationship all the time...but they do serve purposes...dont they?jus wish we can get through all...together kz dear?haha..dun tok about it le...theres no use being sad now right?and hooorrr....aaaahhhhh!!! so paiseh!! they keep showing me that face...then ask...isit lidat?fast or slow?eee...haha...cant get over it...keeps fashing through my mind...even though i dun really remember it clearly...me start meh?haha...sry lo...de chun zing chi...hehe...not easy to get over de k...so many choir these days...good or bad...'yawn' from you...haha...tired dear...wish i can be by your side now...these days i learnt not to be so close to you...or i dint?haha...maybe i jus cant control myself...feels so uncomfortable when sl mention you tokin good bour some other guy to me...i dun wana get jealous...you dun have to bother k?you're a free pretty bird..not caged by an old man like me...haha...all i know is to watch over you...
i love you dear
hug and muacks
je t'adore

2005-03-22T20:46:00.000+08:00

ur turn to ask me to write liao... I lazy to remind u le... ur turn to remind me.. hahax... lemme see hor... "yawnz" ZzzZz... s0 tired... now talking on da phone wif u still muz write... ma fan!!! hahax... oh ya... ur results got improve leh... quite alot... all the subjects that take back is all As... good... hahax... sound like ur mum... told the gals about the thingy.. then they keep teasing you... lolx.. sorrie la... sl keep big mouth.. the Kris already wrote in glook le.. no choice ma... ;) ... wat else? oh ya.. hahax... needa cut hair soon.. coz long again... then ask u to wear contactz.. lolx.. but u everytime rub eyes de... later the contact lenz go inside... aiyo wat else to say leh... that day rmb when u talk to me on da phone & u were listening to the blog song? Then till 1 part when the song say " shi bu shi wo zhuo cou le shem mo? " then u ask me... no.. ok? no... u did nothing wrong... not ur fault... but when u ask my tears literally fell... see la... everytime like that... nvm... don talk about that... hahax... oh ya.. yesterday did something so stupid... Paris, chanel, dior, faith, sage, rain, tiara, tiana, paige, gwen & kayra... lolx.... nice right? not nice also no choice.. cannot don like... :P.... ok la.. nothing to write le...

Hugz & smooches!!!

Je t'aime...

2005-03-20T16:46:00.000+08:00

that should be the longest post u've ever blog... don ask me not to cry coz I already did... Everytime I made up some decision, ur words always touches me... make me think through them over & over... I know u need me... It's true... Freedom urges me to leave you... how I wish I'll nv have that urge... But watever I do in my entire life, it has been of feelings and urges... On the 3th of Jan... It was an urge... a sudden feeling to juz accept... I've nv regret that urge... Like I said last night... If I leave u, I might nv be able to find some1 who love me as much as u do.. don even say more... It's funny... how u even fall in love wif me.. how I even will accept u... wif u, I'm being cherished... being pampered... being doted on.. like nv before.. the gurls say u're pampering me too much... But that's juz becoz I know u love me... ppl always say, how can we understand love at this age? wat is love anyway? how can u guys last till 1314? I admit... I don understand wat's love... All I know is when I'm am being cherish by u, nothing else matters... how I wish we can be juz in a world of our own? when in my life is juz you & the gurls... How I wish that others will not enter... But I know it's nv possible... u said I will nv be replaced... maybe it's u nv open ur heart to let some1 else walk in... I know there are ppl who wanna be in life.. who wanna walk through ur life wif u... ppl who will treasure u more then I do... ppl who wouldn't make u feel so miserable... ppl who will give u equal love or even more... If there is really such a person... tell me kz? I'll let u go like u will let me... let the wrong 1 go before u can meet the right person... don keep telling urself u can't affort to lose me... becoz like u know... If I really decided leave, I will... whether u can affort or not... But I say.. Give ourselves 2 weekz... on our 3 months anniversary I'll give u my answer kz... let the scarz of love be a beautiful memory & a heartbreak ok?

I love u.. I mean it...

2005-03-20T14:59:00.000+08:00

hey dear...i come to write without you asking me to le...haha...since now not much people at home i my as well write now...you mentioned it and i went to take a look...the good night messages...the blog posts...all these past memories we have been through together...and i come to think of how it was like before we were together...would it be that way if you leave me?maybe it would be the same or worse...saying things out make me feel better...so let me say la ok dear?dun ask me not to love you so much...i do...and i cant stop myself from not falling in love with you deeper and deeper...last night...talking on the phone felt better...but when i went to bed...all seem to rush back into my mind again...freedom...i know you my dear...you need it very much...this are all the complications of love huh? you need freedom...i need you...you dun wish to leave me but freedom urges you...dun say that you are not worth for me to love so much...cus to me u are worthy as the most important thing in my whole life...no matter wad you say about reality...i cant seem to understand...do i have to?to me there is no better gal for me to find...i hope not...cus i jus wana live like this forever in my life...you changed my life once...on 3rd of january 2005...you have been giving me happiness since that day...i hope i have also given you...i put in so much love in you to wish that you would be happy...you need freedom dear...and i need you...we have to tink through this time...its the most serious talk we ever had...and it would be for a serious reason...a reason for me to live on...with you...iv written all this to say out wad i feel now...i dun wan you to cry after reading this...i dun wan you to be sad...you control my tears and my heartbeat but i dun mind a bit...thks for dropping tears with me...how i wish we will never have to anymore...this time...its up to you...
i love you for my life dear...
all i can say is that i wish you will never leave me...
reality is not real for me...

2005-03-19T20:03:00.000+08:00

ok my turn... quite alot of thingz to say... but all cannot say here.. lolx... later I muz bury my face in the ground again.... Juz came back from chalet yesterday... was so freaking tired.. then still muz go sch today... piang... somemore being led by fools... haiz.. cannot take it... k la.. don make u ting wo ma ren liao... chalet was alright.. the jetty was cool... very nice... & cycling... lolx.. not my fault lor... the bike was spolit leh... so u do the job of cycling lor... while I do the job of relaxing... don wanna talk about chalet liao... since u already talk about it... now talking to u.. about serious stuff... I'm sorry... sorry I make u drop that tear... whenever I do that... I'll drop wif u... u said I control ur heartbeat... Ur tear... I didnt meant to... I don want to... I'm sorry... really I am... everytime I say I love u.. I mean it... In case u nv knew it... I'll tell u now if i nv told u before... I mean every I love u... I'll keep every promise I promise u... if I nv promise when u request me to... It's becoz promises are not meant to be broken... it's becoz I wanna keep my promise... we nv had a talk so serious... If I ever leave u tonight... pls promise me... find some1 better... for I'm really not worth it... I love u dear.. I really do...

2005-03-19T18:29:00.000+08:00

back from chalet...with quite many things to write leh dear...make this super long wan?hahah...i try la...lets see...we basically hang around all day lo...haha...was quite a bad party for shawn...i feel sorry for him too...all those balloons all those drinks...first day we reach there then do wad ah?oh go get bike then cycle out to bedok jetty...nice hor dear?i cycle you can rest...haha...nvm la...also not you purposely de...isit?haha...then around night go eat then go the other jetty that we found...haha...so nice over there...but not nice enough to spend the whole night there...haha...went back...then sleep...dunid to say la hor dear...haha...shy le...next day...ppl come le...then nothin much la...i understand k dear?jus tell me and i wont mind...not like i duno you...when sl told me some hints(which i hate)...not sure wad they mean and i start to worry bout losing you...cant focus on anything...thought alot when i was bathing....felt helpless...and you know...haiz...really cant lose you...duno how to say it...guess im only good with words...wadever it is...we will pull through k?
muacks...84 more to go
hugs....
falling deeper in love with you...

2005-03-15T20:04:00.000+08:00

i come to write liao...without you asking me to...hehe...this week holiday le...haha..so good...i get to see you from monday to saturday...ok la...not very good la...monday bball competition...first round lose le...haha...but i dun really mind cus those guys if they were our age we would have won le...today choir exchange...so sian after that...go back home eat then sleep then do work lo dear...listen to you de...nvm...i got somethingto look forward to at least...haha....CHALET!! yay yay....so suang...hope no prob can go man...i wont mind waking up a 3am to walk on the beach with you...being with you to watch the sun set and rise...if you wan to...hmm...duno wad to say le...tomolow got choir...in late noon...who cares? theres chalet...
love u dear...

2005-03-13T15:46:00.000+08:00

Now talking on da phone wif u & sl... Thursday can go chalet & stay overnight... east coast... s0 nice.. can go watch sunrise in the morning... s0 surpise u can go... hahax... last night.. lolx... feel so pai seh... I mean.. I finally tasted jealousy... But jealous over that.. is really so childish... hahax... so hate it... Don like that feeling... u win liao lor... nv have I been jealous of anything, any1... so that's the sour taste.. cannot control de.. Told sl... she really piang... Don want that feeling again hor... hmm... wat to say? so bored... This whole week so packed up... hahax... Mon to wed all got choir... Thursday & fri go chalet... Sat got choir again... wao... u said yay.. ok lor... hahax... But very tiring de... lolx... I'm not talking dirty hor... hahax... It's like mentally tired... lolx... k la... nothing much to write... so short sia... 1st time.. & last time.. I promise... hahax...

Hugz & smooches!!!

I love you...

Muackz!

" I promise to love u for a reason. & the reason is love. "

2005-03-11T22:06:00.000+08:00

yeps...i owe you 1 only...and now im repaying le..haha...no la...im willing to write la..quite long haven write le also ma...anyway...lets see...today wad nkf la...so sian...but being with you can liao...went round places walking eating slacking...nothin much la...want to watch movies de...but dun have good time slot...k la...lets talk about my results lo...and yours...haha...im proud of you dear...you improved...but its your teacher's help la...haha...you're not my distraction...and even if you are...it would be my fault...ya...haha...i was damn kan chong...din wana bring up the topic...when you asked how..i jus turned away...dun wish it will happen...i promise you dear...i will never leave you for another gal......0%...i cant do it and i dun want to anyway...never thought of it...its always no problems in my plans...haha...and i wwwiiilll work hhhaaarrrddd....really...put pressure on me...i need it...haha...but try not to use the 'last resort one'...i will be really scared...cus i really love you...
my promises...to you
i love you
dear

2005-03-11T21:00:00.000+08:00

fine.. I post... But u owe me 2 le hor? hahax... ok la.. I'll be nice... the previous 1 not counted ok? that was juz some crap from the book... nth better to do so post that lor... Kinda tiring today... stupid nkf thingy... wat a waste of time.. hahax... we were practically slacking... go shop shop.. hahax... hmm... ur results... was kinda bad.. I mean it dropped... how can like that? Pamela=distraction... lolx... "sobz"... & weiting=motivation? coz my result improve! yay.. so happie... lose to sl by 0.7% onli lor... & she is 3rd in 3b1 & I'm 21 in 3a1... sian... nvm... But is becoz she got lousy teacher... If I in that class result sure sux... oh well... nvm.. stress? pressure? hahax... I know... But u need that pressure from me... u seem really kan chong when I ask about ur overall result... don even feel like eating lunch.. hahax... afraid I might say that phrase? we've talked about it... &... u know I don wanna let go le... & I know u'll nv let go de.. Unless something... life is unpredictable... k la.. I wanna go watch tv le...

Hugz & smooches dear...

wo aii nii...

Muackz!

2005-03-08T20:31:00.000+08:00

Found something very cute while reading a book... s0 decided to post it here... Kinda true u know? hahax...It's about "you know it's serious when..."

1. You automatically check his/her horoscope when you read urs.

2. Thingz that gross you out when ur little brother does them like chew wif his mouth open or burp loudly, makes u laugh when he does them.

3. He's seen u caked in zit medicine, sporting baggy sweats, & wif greasy hair and still thinkz u're hot.

4. u've even stop flirting wif ur best fren's older brother

5. You can't bring urself to delete any of his emails or smses

6. You do something u totally hate (like watching wwf or nba) becoz he loves it, & he does something he totally hates (like going shopping) becoz he knows u luv it.

7. You don't mind that his goatee (which took 3 months to grow) gives u beard burn

8. U've had at least 1 major "scream until u're crying" fight, but everything was better an hr later.

9. You know weird thingz about each other, yet u're not the least bit turned off.

10. You have stupid nicknames for each other that u'd rather die than say in public...

hahax... How true is that? I found it rather true lor... right dear? hahax...this is considered I've blog liao hor.. don play cheat.. hahax...

2005-03-06T17:53:00.000+08:00

Since u so nice write for me I'll be nice & write lor... hahax... I wrote le leh.. then gone! argh... nvm.. Lemme see... Tomorrow's 9th weeks... yupz.. longest... oh well.. the previous de was 2 months... or was it 2 months 3 days? nvm.. those past memories lets not mention le.. wat's more important is now.. hahax.. Friday... Even if u don mention I intend to say too.. hahax... Make me so kan chong... ok la.. I know it's not ur fault... but as least tell me ma.. I thought something happen... Hrump.. Was cursing & swearing at u lor.. hahax.. Scolding u stil can sugary me.. make me donno to continue being pissed at u or laugh.. idiot leh... Nvm... But from this thing I found out something I nv knew... told ya leh right? Don wanna spill here... Very pai seh.. hahax.. U know I know can liao.. lolx... It really gush out lor... hrump.. nvm.. don mention liao.. Next week got 4 tests hor? muz work hard kz? the game s0o cute.. hahax.. Kick his ass damn fun.. lolx.. sound so violent...

I miss you lotz too.. The sneezing system work again.. hahax...

Hugz & smooches!!!

Muackz!

I love u lotz...

2005-03-06T17:34:00.000+08:00

you muacks me how can i dun write...haha...irresistable you...lets see...this weekend same as the others lo...long and agonising...except for being able to sleep very late...haha...should i mention friday?haha...sry la dear...i tried my best to reach home early le...but still cant...anyway this shows you care for me....so sweet my dear...thks...and you know i care for you too...but i know you need freedom...so i try to control myself not to be so kan chong for you all the time...haha...saturday did most of my hw when you are outside...sms quite alot...hehe...nvm...still not over yet...can prevent de...then today lidat lo...later still got badminton...but i told you the time before hand le...so its ok...ok dear? i miss you very much...monday coming le...can see you finally...your new haircut...haha...wadever it is cannot spoil your beauty de la...haha...really dear...
cant tell you how blessed i am to be able to have you...this is the longest relationship for you le hor?
im more than willing to make it the longest for your life...how i wish it really comes true...
i love you dear....
mising ya...hugs...muacks....

2005-03-03T20:44:00.000+08:00

kkz i write...2 months le wor...haha...wad a lousy way to celebrate it...choir...haha...nvm la...friday k?hahaha...sure say cannot de you...nvm lo...then this saturday i cannot go out then sian again...will miss you very much...this 2 months...has it been great for you dear?haha...i know it has been for me...thks for being with me...thks for letting me have a chance to hold your hand...your mother know liao so i can go your house le hor...haha...yeps...people have been telling me good things and bad things...some are jus crap tok but most are fairly serious...telling me not to be to serious about this relationship or im hoping for the immposible to be with you for long...but i cant help believing it will come true...i cant stop anyway...haha...some tell me good luck and some other stuff...haha...i promise you...k?i really love you...they may think theres no way to understand true love now...but i somehow think i do...cus you thought me how to...
hugs...smooches....to my dear
more months to come k? i mean years...haha
i love you

2005-03-03T19:29:00.000+08:00

Today's 2 month anniversary liao... fast hor? yupz... oh well... these days was juz right... comment from alot... In fact every1... Gd 1s bad 1s... Blessings, advices... But who cares about them... so long as we understand each other.. right? ;) wat a way to spend 2 month anniversary... hahax... Raining day... Choir... sux... hahax... But it was quite nice... unique at least... lolx.. Looking at the raindrops, breeze was cooling & the music was nice.. lolx.. know wat I mean? hahax... oh well... wat's gonna happen in future? no 1 knows... Last till 1314 is almost impossible... Almost every1 tells us not to be too serious... & I somehow agree... How is this luv able to last till we grow old? Ur promises... I believe them... I trust them... Yet sometimes thingz are juz not within our control... Of coz I don wanna let go of this... No matter wat ppl say... their opinion, their thoughts, their unhappiness... All I know is I'm happy & contented the way it is now... Juz let thingz be the way it is... If there is a need for changes, I'll rather be greedy, pls let it be for the better... (",)

Hugz & smooches!

I love you.

2005-03-02T21:14:00.000+08:00

hey dear...my turn again le...ok la...got things to write...becus very long nver write le...hehe...lets see...this week all the test reduce until left 3...next week got 3 again...we mus study hard k?show your mum...haha...you really scared me man...lucky i can tahan..phew...thks auntie...i jus wish my mum would react like you when she finds out...dun worry...i'll take good care of her...treasure her...never let her be hurt...dun worry...im the one who fall deeper in love...thats y i wont leave her...today we went to k box...haha...somehow i dun sing well with a mike...thats not important though...had a good time...cus you were there beside me...haha...holding you really makes me feeling sleeping...makes me understand wads sleep tight...haha...5 le wor..95 more to go...haiz...haha...how i look forward to it...then this friday i cannot go out...eee...haha...i listen to lo...2 months comin le...tomolow...during this time...you let me understand wads love...your small hands are wad i wan to hold for my life...being with you really makes me feel blessed...so dun ever leave me...cus i need you...my dear
hugs......
muacks.......
love you forever

2005-02-28T19:47:00.000+08:00

Since I've got nothing to do now might as well blog... hmm... so boring... Almost finish all my hw during weekend le.. Guai hor? hahax... lookz like pressure really workz right? If I nv chase u to go do ss then u'll be like Elaine.. hahax... Today is 8 weekz le... 2 month anni coming soon... In these days, did we ever quarrel once? hmm.. I don think so right? hahax... nv even gonna start on an arguement before... Always u let me get my way... There are times when I'm really angry wif ya... But u always don understand the situation... Then make me donno whether to laugh or contiune to be upset wif u.. haiz.. hahax... sometimes u do know I'm pissed... But u always hong wo... ok fine.. I know I have my "da xiao jie pi qi"... Thx dear... really... 8 weekz really fly... at 1st I really donno wat should we talk about on da phone... But nowadays we don wanna put down da phone.. hahax... Talk about serious problem once or twice... or maybe more... But at least we open up.. s0 nothing was really the problem... I have the urge to tell my mum about this... I reckon she'll let... 90%? hahax... oh well.. take back term 1 report book 1st ba...

Thx dear... For these days... Ur patience & understanding...

Ur promises... They really mean alot...

I love ya lotz...

Hugz & smooches!!!

2005-02-26T22:54:00.000+08:00

hmmm...wad should i write?we toking on phone still mus write...haha...ok lor...entertain ya...today nothin much la...jus keep tinking of ya...then study lo...very boring throughout the day leh...haha...but i talked to you quite long today...so quite ok la...wanted to go play bball in the afternoon de...but ma ask me mop floor...haiz...slavery...haha...see la...duno wad to write le...tinking of you too much...haha...only saturday...still got 1 more day to go...but tomolow morning got badminton in the morning...mus wake up early wor!haha...jus now false alarm...hehe...but i still wana tok to ya...ok la...my sis wana use com le...byebye dear!
i love ya....

2005-02-26T21:59:00.000+08:00

2day went shopping...Bought nothing.. so sian... Cannot find anything I really like or want de.. Got everything I need le... Hmm.. s0 was kinda boring lor... Talk to you alot alot today... Afternoon pei wo talk 1 hr plus on da phone.. Then now also talking.. somemore still can see u through webcam.. s0 funny... hahax... the sneezing thingy really works right? told ya.. But no scientific proof de... Talking to u donno how to blog le la... hahax... can I crap? lolx... hmm... Keep talking dirty wif u.. and u kana influence alot le hor? even more sick then me... & the heats thingy.. don worry la.. No big deal de... Like I care... hahax... I mean whether u win or lose I'll also... "blush".. hahax.. Don say le.. later I hafta dig a hole in the ground again... u know I know can liao le hor? hahax.. u sure force me to say de... don care u.. lolx.. k la... Very hungry le... g2g eat something le...

Hugz & kisses!!!

Muackz... Missin' u lotz & I luv u...

" I only need that 1 and only promise. U've promise me. s0 keep that promise. "

2005-02-25T20:16:00.000+08:00

not crap la dear...im always contented de...haha...i know you care for me...so i will listen to you k?remind me then ok le...haha...lets see...today i wana go out with you de lo...but got stupid sports heats...now 3 days cannot see you le la! sure miss you like hell de...im missing you liao..haha...but mus tahan until next monday...haiz..k lo...sports heats was quite sucky...and was very tired...now bath le feel so much fresher...no metallic smell...hehe...i use the green tea shampoo..very nice smelling man..haha...im really craping...anyway i cant change plan le...shit lo..goto save again...cant talk to you during weekends very pain de leh...haha...next week de tests i will study de...dun worry k dear? i will do my best...you too...kzz...duno wad to write le...oh i found some sugar on the table...wait i put on screen.......i love ya dear...hope that i can be with you though its immposible...will miss you very much...

2005-02-25T19:50:00.000+08:00

hihi.. due to request I blog... hahax... hmm.. wat to say leh? oh ya... Stupid dear... told ya to eat le right? whole day only eat 1 bun... gastic pain how? somemore still play bball & run lor... u promise u'll eat de right? don care u le la... ok.. I sound like ur mum.. lolx.. hmm... Kinda missing u le... how? hahax.. nvm... c0z tomorrow going shopping!!! Yay!!! but hor.. I already spent $200 plus that day le lor... & I have nothing to buy anyway.. got everything I need le leh... the most needed item "Sling bag!" gosh.. can't seem to find 1 that I like alot... hmm... wat else leh? I have too much shoes... Too much bags.. Too much clothes.. diao... oh ya.. a billabong skirt... very nice.. ok.. lets see.. 2 add together around $100 ba.. U sponser me hor... hahax.. Juz jk... But I know myself too well ... If I see something really nice I cannot resist temptation de... lolx... oh ya.. 1 more thing.. how can I forget? my roxy bikini... hmm... +another $65...gosh.. I can really spent... how? next time u die... hahax... I posting crap.. lolx.. But as long as I blog u happy le la hor? be contented man.. hahax... anyway.. 2 months anniversary.. Or should I say monthsary coming le... hmm... Like u say... Hope is till 1314...

Don worry kz? & ur results! hahax.. I see the word "stress" poping out..

lolx... oh well... nvm...

I miss u lotz...

& I love u too...

2005-02-24T21:02:00.000+08:00

haha...okok i write..willingly de ok?dear...dun wana see you unhappy...y does this kinda thing happen...nvm though...its ok le hmm? you scared me though...cant even take the thought of it...oh well...2 months is a prob huh?haha...hope nothin bad happens...dear...its ok to tell me about who you are meeting...i would feel better knowing than not knowing about it...im ok with it de...that kinda freedom i also dun give meh? haha...wah next week got so many tests...goto work hard man...wish i can go to saturday k box...but i dun think there is a single bit of chance...haha..jus hope next week tests all no prob then can go out with ya...haha...im addicted to you....feel so comfortable...oh ya..tomolow got sports heats...haiz ask me run 100 m for wad? sure lose de...haha...try my best lo...kkz...can le ba...haha...i love you...

2005-02-23T21:13:00.000+08:00

Sorrie dear... In very bad mood today... Don understand the meaning of friendship... Don understnad alot of thingz... & I don wanna understand... If between friendship & relationship I've gota choose 1... I'll choose friendship... I feel so bad... but yes... Friends are big part of my life.. I need them simply too much... But I'm really upset... Angry... Confused... 2 yrs... They should know me by know... My attitude.. My personality... But I don understand... can't they juz come straight? If they wanna curse me, scold me, juz come straight to my face... wat for talk behind my back? wat for give me the "u don't belong" face? Juz tell me I hate ur attitude... Don feel like talking to u...Rather then ignoring me.. Watever... I'm ego... They should know by now... Unless they can win me by arguing that my attitude is getting from bad to worst... An apology is nv... I'm stubborn.. Unreasonable... watever... I'm the way I am... And I ain't gonna change it... I treasure the friendship... alot... Yet... There are certain faults in every1... I can't change them... They can't change me... at most... a scolding from them... If this friendship is gona break coz of juz my attitude... The ship was nv once build...

Sorrie for making u listen to all this crap...

Hugz & smooches...

I love you...

2005-02-22T18:52:00.000+08:00

here comes me blog...haha...mus write fast...cus going to eat dinner le...lets see...today we wenta watch moive...hide and seek...not scary de...jus sorta phyco thing...haha...anyways at lease there are still some parts that are anticipating...nice time with ya...haha...i got back my maths test le...that stupid question 2...if i dun careless i get a1 lo! haiz....sry dear...hahaha...ok la hor...then next week still got so many many tests man...5 for me...4 for ya...mus work hard le...oh ya 2 months coming soon...quite fast la...but i wan it to be forever...hehe
being yours made me fall deeply in love...fall into this hole...and you let me dig deeper into it...but if you ever leave me...i will be trapped in this hole forever...so pls dun ever leave me...i need you...i love you

2005-02-21T20:41:00.000+08:00

hihi... waoz... I know I know... I s0oo nice again right? hahax.. ok fine.. Bhb... hahax.. watever... I told ya I wouldn't come online.. hahax.. Bluff u de la.. Coz u got alot of hw so u cannot come online.. Then puposely say I will not come online.. ;)... oh well.. Lemme think.. Got back my E Mathz Test de resut le.. Thought I will flunk sia... Only got 17/25 but very contented liao.. Thought will kana scolded by mrs Gan.. But she only say could have done better.. lolx... Hmm.. I got alot of hw today.. But finish le.. Gd gal hor? hahax.. I know I am... lolx.. Bhb again... Only left mathz... Donno how to do.. maybe ask ppl later.. nvm... hmm.. wat else? oh ya.. mOvies.. tomorrow hor.. Friday cannot.. coz got heats.. Then wat else? Next week very busy... Got s0 many tests... Chemistry Social studies & chinese... Somemore is Sl de birthday.. ma fan... hahax... Oh ya.. today sl keep complaining about me... Not gd enough.. she say elaine is a better mum... hahax.. I told her to ask u to change mum for her lor... Since she say she still want her daddy... hahax... U want? hahax... k la.. s0 long le.. better then urs...

Hugz & smooches!!!

wif lotz of love & kisses...

2005-02-20T19:19:00.000+08:00

i got a kind dearie...haha...write 2 posts before i even write one sia...well there is nothin much for me to write though...jus that....I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU...monday coming soon yay....but got chem test too...we mus do well k dear? haha...try your best la hor...and dun think so much about the maths test...wats done is done...think about me and ya latest shopping goodies...haha...nowadays my sis move com back to her room...so sometimes i can use the com in private...butnot always though...since they know bout us i have no problem le...except for my parents...today went to badminton...play with my pro uncles...damn tiring...but they said im best among the other cousins le...catching up with my second uncle...the lousiest...hehe...abit not well now but go eat somethin should be fine le...kk byebye...i love ya

2005-02-19T22:04:00.000+08:00

oh well.. I know I'm nice again... s0 kind right? s0 automatic.. not like u.. hahax.. hmm.. lemme see.. got nothing much to do now u see... Not in the mood for studying... all becoz of the e maths test.. totally ruin my weekend mood... haiz.. Lucky yesterday went shopping.. oh my gosh... it was.. shiok! hahax... bought so many stuff... But was kinda broke.. lolx.. the best thing was the limted edition nike valentine's shoe... nice nice right? hahax... Luv mine now more then ur T-mac 4... hehe... & I'm so nice to meet u at redhill... was pouring lor... hahax.. sound as if I hafta walk in the rain.. lolx.. talked about carz... hahax... "blushing"... oh my gosh... feel like digging a hole in the ground again... Next monday got chemisty test... hope can do well.. u 2 ya? & next week u can only choose 1.. not both! understand? hahax.. I sound like ur mum... watever... hehe... k la... ur turn...

Hugz & smooches...

Luving ya & missing u lotz...

[u owe me 1... But i still don wan it yet. hahax]

2005-02-18T21:35:00.000+08:00

hey dear...i very long never write le...haha...i better write now...since i got so many things to write...valentines day not much la...cus we both got thiings...i wear uniform to buy you present lo...so weird...haha...nvm it was worth it...i like the present you gave me very much...and i talked for 1hr...hehe...suppose cannot de...but cannot resist...erm then take back tests...eee dun say le...not very good...then we went out on wed...so suang!!!haha...sorta damn damn happy for me...hahaha...cant get over it...cant!haha...okok...thks dear...i will give you one next time...haha...now you made me wan to give you very much...when im with you...i jus hope it will be that way forever...undescribable feeling...jus love you very much...weekend is here...im dead...haha...will miss you very much...in fact i am already...
jus want to be yours forever...i love you

2005-02-17T19:16:00.000+08:00

ok I know I'm so nice coz I post without u asking me 2... hehex.. kkz fine.. Don zi kua... hahax... Wed wenta watch movie wif u kris & lu xuan... They s0o idiot de lor... sit behind then keep spying.. hrump... hahax... The show was alright... Really regret that time nv watch "shall we dance"... haiz.. But nvm... will have chance de... right? hahax... U really like pillow lor... I nearly fell asleep.. ;) hehex... & very warm also... U not paying attention to the movie hor? lousy... hahax.. At least I am... aiyo so pai seh... Sl they all keep talking about it... U better not mention hor... Or else I'll strangle u... it's a secret ok? hahax... At least I've done my promise ;)... No need u keep reminding me... hahax... Tomorrow got E maths test... This time u muz do well hor... otherwise... muhahaha... rmb on 3th of Jan wat did I say? It's 1 of the possibility ok? Don think I don dare... hahax.. k la.. don scare u liao...

Hugz & smooches!

Loving ya lotz...

Muackz ;)

Happy Valentine's day!

2005-02-14T20:57:00.000+08:00

kkz..Think I owe u for quite some time le hor? hehe;)... 1st... Happy Valentine's Day!!! 2 day is Valentine's cum 6 weeks anniversary le... Nth much though... Hrump.. hahax... Actually wat can I expect? lolx.. no la.. juz jk... been in quite a depress mood lately... Sorry dear if I ignore u or anything.. Mood swing la... Hahax.. don think dirty hor.. My da yi ma nv visit me.. lolx... Ya.. nv see u for 5 days? hahax... But I believe u miss me more de la hor? hahax... I know u hate new year... lolx.. But now I got money go shopping!!! Yay!!! so happy... I score 17/25 for my social studies!!! s0oo happy!!! damn high already lor.. sl kris they all flunk leh... U sound so stress when u heard my result... hahax... s0oo no confident... aiyo... hahax... Hmm.. wat else? like ur valentine's present? lolx.. I like mine... Thankx... hehe... k la.. long enough liao hor...
Hugz & smooches!!!
Happy Valentine's & lotz of love...

2005-02-10T15:08:00.000+08:00

hey my turn again....very long never write le...cus quite busy...got test got chinese new year...needa go peoples house...my total earnings sure lose you dear...so little...but enough to get present for you...hope mummy does not find out y the money got lesser...hahaha....erm we went out this week...which was nice...hahaha...always de la...but i wish can watch movie...so friday ok?haha...i dint force you hor...sat i duno can go out with you all or not...but if can is the best la...so long lo this crap new year....nvm nvm....gona end soon le...hehe...some test haven take back....hope i will score well man...you too ok dear? i went to temple today....prayed for me and you...hahahaha....really leh...wish it will really come true...love you dear....